A work in progress...

Just a quick post tonight which will hopefully explain two things. Firstly, the current state of my blog and secondly, as well as most excitingly,my plans for its future. With regards to the former, despite the fact that I have had a great deal of free time on my hands over the last few weeks as a result of being forced to leave my former job earlier than expected and then being offered a new one in quick succession, I have found that I have had very little to blog about. Whilst having a few weeks of unexpected holiday sounds lovely, the reality is that I have often been bored and done very little worth writing about. And as much as I enjoy blogging (which I truly do), it's hard to find the motivation to write a post when you're not in the right frame of mind yourself. Not to mention the fact that any post I did write in such a mood wouldn't probably be worth sharing with anyone!

But that's enough of the past and present; now let's look to the future. Over the past few days I've done some thinking and have realised that I really want to keep my blog going over the next few months and beyond. However, given my recent track record, I've realised that the only way to do this is to get organised and I know that this will be especially important when I'm working full time. My plan is to draft each week's posts (3 or 4 minimum) a little in advance and then I won't be faced with staring blankly at the computer screen when it's time to blog. I'm not, however, intending to schedule my posts as, for me, one of the main attractions of blogging is the fact that I can share my thoughts and feelings on current issues to a potentially worldwide audience. If something moves me on a particular day, I want the freedom to write about it there and then, not when my posting schedule dictates. And as for content...well that's been something else that I've been giving some thought to. I'm intending to keep some old favourites going... my "Highs and Lows" will still be a regular feature and "What's in my Wardrobe Wednesday" and baking posts will also be making a re-appearance. I also have plans for new features...I'm thinking about reviews, beauty posts and even more fashion as well as general randomness, memes and discussion of much deeper issues too!

So please bear with me just a little bit longer...the new and improved Julie's Jottings will be with you very soon :-)

Till next time...

August so far...my highs and lows

Once again, it's been a couple of weeks since my last post...I really don't know where the time goes! I haven't just been sat there doing nothing though, there's been plenty, both bad and good, to keep me busy and those things are exactly what I'm going to share with you today.

Highs

• Exciting baby news: One of my closest friends (I'll call her the "Animal Lover")announced last week that she was expecting her first baby, who's due in late February/early March. It was a lovely surprise and I'm overjoyed for both her and her boyfriend ("The Biker"). I just can't wait until there's another baby in the group to spoil!

• Housewarming fun: In keeping with the major life changes theme, two of my friends (The Comedian and The Enigma) have recently bought their first home together and a couple of Saturdays ago, I spent the evening at their housewarming barbecue. It was just a wonderful night filled with fabulous food (including more crisps on one table than I'd ever seen before!), random conversations and Kinect fun and I hope that we'll be able to do it all over again very soon.

• Adding another recipe to my tried and tested favourites: Unsure of what to give the friends mentioned above as a housewarming present (they'd already been living together previously and I had no idea of what they wanted/needed), I decided to bake something and buy a pretty tin to put it in. My flavour of choice was chocolate...I didn't actually know what the couple liked, but reasoned that everyone loves chocolate! My first thought was brownies, but having never made them before, I decided not to risk an untested recipe. Then I remembered the chocolate cake recipe from the Australian Women's Weekly Complete Book of Cupcakes and Baking (I've tried and failed to find a link to this book on the net...if you want this recipe, let me know and I'll post it on here/email you) and I was pretty sure I was on to a winner. First off, my sister had made it before for a friend who had said it was gorgeous and secondly, all the recipes in the book are triple tested, so are pretty much guaranteed to work :-). And work it did...I divided the mixture into bun cases so I would have some cakes for my friends and some for home, and they were enjoyed by all! My mum said they were one of the best things I'd ever made, a friend of a friend said they were fantastic and I received a lovely text off the Enigma the next day saying how much she and her fiancé the Comedian had enjoyed them. I just love baking and it makes me even happier when people close to me can enjoy it too :-)

• Fantastic friends on Facebook: Last week I received some very good news of my own and when I shared it on Facebook, I was overwhelmed with the support and good wishes I received from my friends. From people of my own age, but also of my parents' generation. From friends who I had seen just the day before, to those who I hadn't seen for years. From old school friends to people I've met much more recently. The congratulations flooded in from all directions, and to say I was touched was an understatement. Sometimes when I'm feeling low I tell myself that no-one cares about me or takes notice of what I have to say, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that's not true. I am loved and cared about more than I've ever realised and that makes me feel incredibly thankful.

And now on to my big news of the last couple of weeks:

I have a new job!! Remember my last post where I alluded to some big changes that might be happening in my work life? Well, it turns out that it was more relevant than I ever thought possible. The day after publishing that post, I received a text from a major banking group that I had previously done an online application for asking me to call their recruitment centre for a telephone interview. I did so and answered 3 mental arithmetic questions and a couple of competency based questions, as well as discussing my recent work history with a very nice man, and was pleased when he announced that I had made it through to the next stage aka the face to face interview, which I booked for last Wednesday. I spent quite a bit of time preparing for the interview and felt I did OK. I wasn't, however, overly confident, partly because I've stumbled at this stage so many times before and partly because I kept analysing my responses to the questions over and over and came up with more and more things I felt I could have done better. I'd been told that it could take up to 10 working days to be informed of the outcome and so I settled down to a long wait for the seemingly inevitable. Imagine my surprise then when I received a phone call from the company explaining that they had managed to get things fast tracked through HR and they were pleased to tell me that I'd been successful!! I won't go into too many details here, as I really feel that the job deserves a post of its own, but I can tell you I'm going to be starting on 19th September, and am really looking forward to this new challenge!! :-)

Lows

• Riots in Greater Manchester (as well as nationwide): Last week there was some of the worst rioting and looting that has ever been seen in England and whilst it was mainly centred around London, on Tuesday last week it also hit Salford and Manchester city centre, only a matter of miles from where I live. The pictures on the TV and news feeds on the internet didn't seem quite real and I was shocked at some of the stories I was reading. An Oxfam shop being looted. A Miss Selfridge shop and a housing office being set on fire. People smashing windows and forcing shutters. None of it really hit home until the next day when I was walking in the centre of town and saw the damage with my own eyes. I just couldn't believe that people could do that to their own city. But as in all of the other places affected by last week's unrest, the community has pulled together and become stronger as a result. On Wednesday morning, for example, as I walked through town after my interview I saw groups of young people wearing protective gloves and armed with rubbish bags all ready to part in the clear up. And today, whilst my sister Amy and I were shopping in Manchester we saw this:

Image taken from here

It's the Manchester Peace Wall, and in the few days since this photo was taken, it's become absolutely filled with post-it notes expressing people's love for the city as well as disgust at the looters and their actions. Amy and I both wrote our own notes and stuck them on the wall, and I just feel really privileged to contribute to such a powerful representation of Manchester's spirit.

• Unexpected work developments and lack of money: News of my new job couldn't have come at a better time as, due to lack of funding, I had to finish my previous job a few weeks earlier than anticipated. I'm going to really have to tighten my belt over the next couple of months or so, and when I consider the number of friends' birthdays that are coming up, it's going to be easier said than done! I'm trying to look on the bright side though...at least I'm still living at home so there are no major bills to pay  and I can also have fun finding low-cost ways to enjoy myself! :-)

And that's all for now. Till next time...

From dreams to reality...

In my most vivid dream last night I was pregnant. And I was absolutely overjoyed. There was a constant stream of happiness bubbling up inside me which threatened to spill out if someone so much as congratulated me on my fantastic news. Hell, I didn't even care when I felt nauseous, so ecstatic was I about the new life growing inside of me. And then I woke up...no baby, no happiness or excitement. Instead I felt bereft, empty. Despite the fact that I'm not actually in any position to have children at this point in my life and I enjoy the sense of freedom and lack of responsibility that being single with no dependants gives me, there it was. A feeling of loneliness and emptiness that, truth be told, is to a certain degree still lingering over 12 hours on.


But this post isn't really about my dream, it's more about my reality...my life today. You see, as someone who is quite into dream meanings and interpretations, one of my first instincts was to try to decipher what my pregnancy dream meant; how it translated into my real life. Now, the night before I had read the happy news that one of my Facebook friends was expecting and I had spent some time looking at some photos of my friend's gorgeous boys, so there's no doubt that these events may have had an influence on the content of my dream. However, I've done these things before and have never dreamed so vividly about pregnancy. I also see news of friends getting engaged and/or married on a regular basis these days and I could probably count on one hand the number of wedding dreams I've had. To put it simply, I was convinced there was some deeper meaning so off I set to look it up. And this is what I found:

To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal. 

Thanks Dream Moods Dictionary!!

It's safe to say that this interpretation definitely resonates with me. My life seems like it's at a crossroads right now and I may well head in a direction that I never would have expected. I've been actively searching for a new job and have come to the conclusion that it may not be in education. And most of the time, I'm ok with that. In fact, there are times when I'm more than ok, as I relish the prospect of new challenges and the opportunity to explore skills and interests that have been put aside in my current job. There are also a number of projects that I'm making a start on. Yesterday and today, I made the first steps in decluttering, organising and tidying my room and I intend for this to be a major and long lasting change. I've updated the photos on my online dating profile and as soon I get time in between working, tidying and job hunting, I'll hopefully start dating again. And after a pair of jeans failed to fit me the other night, it's also my goal to eat more healthily and do more exercise!!

So even though my dream left me feeling sad, I'm aiming to take only positive things from it. I may not be pregnant yet, but I don't want to be right now. There's time enough for that ahead. Instead, I'll think about the new opportunities that are presenting themselves to me and the positive changes I'm making. For now, the growing and developing is about me and my babies are the projects, goals and ideas I'm making happen!! :-)

'Til next time...xx