This is Summer

Blue skies, warm  hot sunshine and refreshing summer breezes. Loving the beautiful warm mornings; loathing the sultry, sticky nights. The smell of suncream and the cooling relief of aftersun. Getting tan lines, no matter how hard you try to avoid them. Beautifully bronzed shoulders and arms; legs that remain resolutely milk bottle white regardless of how much time you spend in the sun. Eating al fresco at every opportunity. Developing cravings for salad and fresh fruit but also devouring barbecued food and ice cream. Enjoying ice cold soft drinks and delicious rosé spritzers, preferably whilst soaking up the sun. Sitting outside, reading outside, making lists and plans outside, taking long walks...basically finding any excuse to get some vitamin D and loving every minute of it! Maxi dresses and mini dresses; shorts and sleeveless tops. And sandals and sunglasses, always sandals and sunglasses. Painting my toenails and wishing that my fingernails were long enough to do the same to. Buying brighter make up and plucking up the courage to try it out. Wishing that every summer day could be as glorious as the ones we're currently having. Making summer plans and living for the evenings and weekends when I can put them into action. Relishing every moment of this summer, and hoping that it doesn't come to an end any time soon.

This is my summer, what's yours?

'Til next time...
Jules

30 before 30: An Update

So do you remember my 30 before 30 list that I posted a few months back? Well, whether the answer's yes or no, I thought that now that I've started blogging again, it would be a perfect time to update you a little on my progress. So, just over four and a half months in, here's how I'm doing so far:

7.  Have a ruthless clear out of my wardrobes and drawers - I've made a start on this, having cleared out one chest of drawers so far and am going to be doing the rest over the summer, so I can make room for all the piles of clothes I've got mounting up, plus potentially a few new buys too.

9.  Read at least 24 new books (2 per month) - whilst this goal may now prove to be overly ambitious, unless I get a major spurt on for the rest of the year, I have read 3 new books since my 29th (Unsuitable Men by Pippa Wright, The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey and Death by Honeymoon by Jaden Skye) and have almost finished The Great Gatsby too. Over the past couple of weeks, I've definitely been getting the urge to read more too, so it'll be interesting to see how close I can get to my original target.

10. Bake at least twice a month - I'm pretty sure I haven't achieved this goal every month, although I haven't really been keeping track as well as I should, but know that I definitely did hit the target in May, as I made Nanaimo bars, chocolate chip cookies and gingerbread over the space of 2 weekends. Hopefully I can stay in the baking habit for the rest of the year now!

11. Try 10 new recipes - I'm on 2 so far; the Nanaimo bars and the chocolate chip cookies I made last month were both things I'd tried for the first time. Look out for the recipes soon!

21. Watch at least 10 new (to me) films (to include at least 1 Tarantino) - I think I'm definitely well on track with this one! :-) At the cinema, I've seen Django Unchained (so I can say I've watched a Tarantino too!), Lincoln, Les Miserables and Iron Man 3 and I know for a fact that there's a few more films that I definitely want to try and catch in the weeks and months ahead too. Add to that the films I've watched on DVD/Netflix (I definitely remember Taken and most of Star Trek), and I think I may even have to set a higher target!

24. Start taking part in quizzes again - I've been part of a quiz team on 2 occasions since I created my list, both times on charity quiz nights with work and I've really enjoyed it. My next step is definitely to find a quiz night that I can start taking part in with (some of) my friends.

And that's pretty much it so far. Well, apart from one other goal which was really my number one priority for the year, and is something that I'm over the moon to have achieved, especially so early on in the year. I am so pleased to say that I've been able to tick the following goal off my list:

1. Get a new job!! - I am so happy about the fact I've achieved this, I really can't quite put it into words! Whilst I'm still in my old job at the moment, come September I'll be taking up my new post as graduate library assistant at one of Manchester's universities. Taking the leap to work in libraries is something that I have been considering for years, off and on, and I am thrilled that I'll finally have the opportunity to make my dream a reality. Whilst I'll only be employed on a year's fixed term contract, the job offer was too good a prospect to dismiss and I'm so looking forward to what the new chapter (sorry - but that pun was totally intended! ;-) ) of my working life may hold.

Sorry, but I couldn't resist saving the best for last! And now that really is all for now, but I'd be thrilled to hear from any of you, as always. Anything big happening in your life at the mo? Any goals that you've recently made/met, be they big or small? If so, just let me know!

'Til next time...

My 30 before 30

For me, yesterday was a very special day...it was my 29th Birthday! Even though I must admit to feeling daunted by the fact that I've reached the last year of my twenties and am now less than a year away from the big 3-0, there was still a certain magic as I spent the day with my family and some of my closest friends and felt almost overwhelmed by all the wonderful cards, presents and birthday messages that I received. I am certainly a very lucky lady! And maybe everyone feels the same way about their birthday, but I also think I'm especially lucky to have mine in January. "Why?", you may ask. Well, for one, it adds a little extra sparkle to what can often be a cold, dark and depressing month and gives me something not too distant to look forward to once the Christmas and New Year festivities are over. Secondly, and this is something that has seemed to become more and more relevant the older I get, it gives me a chance to reaffirm and reevaluate my new year's goals and resolutions as I start a new year of my own. So, with this in mind, I've taken the opportunity to come up with possibly my most ambitious goals list to date: 30 before 30. As with all my previous lists, there's a mix of items on there. Some fun, others more serious. Some will hopefully be things I can tick off rather quickly, whereas I know that others could take all year and may not even be completed at all. But I do know that I'll give everything my best shot and am looking forward to attempting every one of my 30! So without further ado, here's my list: 

My 30 before 30

1. Get a new job
2. Create a monthly budget and stick to it
3. Save at least a fifth of my monthly salary
4. Lose at least 2 stones (28 lbs)
5. Exercise for at least 30 minutes, 3 times a week
6. Complete Couch to 5 K
7. Have a ruthless clear out of my wardrobes and drawers
8. Declutter my bedroom and keep it tidy
9. Read at least 24 new books (2 per month)
10. Bake at least twice a month
11. Try 10 new recipes
12. Learn a new skill and/or develop an existing one
13. Go on holiday somewhere new
14. Exfoliate weekly
15. Give myself a DIY pedicure every week
16. Grow my nails
17. Moisturise my problem areas (elbows, feet and knees) every day
18. Find a facial skincare routine that works for me and stick to it
19. Find and purchase the perfect pair of skinny jeans
20. Organise at least 5 social events for me and my friends
21. Watch at least 10 new (to me) films (to include at least 1 Tarantino...I don't think I've ever actually seen any of his films, to the shock of some of my friends!)
22. Be a better blogger (specifically blog at least 3 times a week, comment/reply to comments more often and try to become more active in the blogosphere by participating in blogger link ups, tags etc)
23. Take and share more photos
24. Start taking part in quizzes again
25. Go for afternoon tea
26. Watch an open air film/concert (or both)
27. Be a better friend
28. Be a better family member (sister/daughter/niece)
29. Declutter my email inboxes, unsubscribe from any spam and maybe even deactivate old accounts.
30. Do more and talk, procrastinate and worry about things less!!

So there we have it! And now it's over to you! Do you make birthday goals lists, and if so, do they work for you? Are you still a big kid when it comes to birthdays or have they lost their magic over time? If there's anything at all you want to say, feel free!

'Til next time...

Summer To Do List: The Update

Hello! Well, it's September and even though I'm no longer working in the education sector and haven't  been a student for over 5 years now, the month still feels like the herald of a new year to me. It's a time for making plans and setting goals; for reviewing the past as well as dreaming about the future and planning for it. So with this in mind, what better to do than to review my Summer To Do list that I set out in this post. I thought the easiest way to do this would simply be to replicate the list in full and then add my annotations alongside (bold will indicate anything I've definitely done/not done and italics refer to any works in progress).

Summer To Do List

• Declutter my room (including my wardrobe) and donate as many unwanted items as I can to the charity shop (Work in progress: I've filled some bags but these haven't yet left the house! I also know that there's a lot more tidying still to be done)
• Go on a shopping trip to fill in any gaps in my wardrobe (and maybe treat myself too!) (Done on numerous occasions...however as I've not fully decluttered yet, I'm aware that there still might be more gaps to fill.)
• Spend some time thinking about what my dream job would be (in terms of the skills I'd . use/ my motivation for working) and searching for job opportunities that match well with this (Work in progress: I've got a vague idea of what I'd like to be doing and sometimes look at opportunities which meet my criteria but I want/need this to be much more systematic).
• Declutter my email inboxes: delete all non-vital emails and unsubscribe from all my spam (Work in progress: Another one I've started, but something that will take a lot of work to get on top of. One of my email accounts in particular is so cluttered that I can foresee it taking a whole day...one for a rainy day methinks!)
• Get to know my city a little better by visiting new places and/or revisiting old ones with a fresh eye (Not yet, am going to try and dedicate some time to this during my next 4 day weekend which is approximately 2 months away)
• Spend some quality time with my family: maybe museum trips with Amy, bowling with all my siblings, DVD nights with my mum and sisters etc (Work in progress: During my summer holiday I went to the cinema and baked with Amy and watched Bridesmaids with my mum, Amy and K (my other sister), but didn't really do as much as I would have liked to have done. I'm making an effort to keep spending more time with everyone and am sure that I'll keep everything updated on here too!!)
• Be a better blogger: read and comment more on the blogs in my reader and post on a more regular basis (Work in progress: I'm decidedly patchy with this at best, but am sure that as I meet more of my goals, I will have more to write about and so will visit Blogger much more frequently. Also on days where I don't have time/inspiration to write, I am making more of an effort to check in with the blogs I follow.)
• Buy a Kindle (Purchased 07/07/2012)
• Read more frequently (either real or e-books) (Work in progress: Whilst I was off I demolished the first 2 books in a certain trilogy, but since going back to work the rate at which I'm getting through books has slowed dramatically and far too often I'm falling back into my old habits of only reading on the commute to/from work.)
• Get back into the baking habit by baking at least once a fortnight  (Fail so far: I did bake whilst I was off on my summer break (rocky road and gingerbread if you're interested!) but nothing since. With the start of autumn however, I'll definitely be looking for seasonal inspiration, so foresee quite a bit of baking ahead!)
• Be more active (Exercise for at least 30 minutes 5 times a week) (Work in progress: I've finally joined the gym and am currently attending 2-3 times a week, but I've not really been that active on days that I don't go.)
• Join the gym (Done: See above!)
• Snack more healthily (Eat chocolate and crisps 2/3 times a week only, and cut down on the amount of biscuits I eat as well as eating more fruit, nuts, cereal etc) and drink more water (Fail: For someone like myself who is an emotional eater and also uses food as a reward, this is something that I really struggle with so will definitely be one of my priorities over the coming months.)
• Stop putting off my dental and doctor's check ups and book the appointments!! (Both booked 09/07/2012)
• Stop biting my nails (Fail: Another annoying habit that is proving really hard to break lol!)
• Book in at the hairdressers (Done: I actually did this during my summer break so will have to arrange another appointment very soon.)
• Give myself a DIY pedicure (Fail: Hopefully I will find time to do this during the longer autumn nights that are quickly creeping up.)
• Exfoliate at least once a week (So far, my efforts at exfoliation have been few and far between but am sure that this will be quite an easy addition to my weekly routine.)
• Drink a Starbucks frappuccino (Done, and more than once I think!)
• Go for drinks in a beer garden/outside at a friend's (Despite the generally disappointing weather, this has been something I've managed at least once this summer.
• Recreate my own version of last years Ben and Jerry's festival with friends (Nope: Team the aforementioned atrocious weather with a large group of friends all with different plans and priorities, and it makes it very difficult to organise any outdoor activities. Maybe I'll just wait to see if the real thing comes around again next year.)

So there we have it, and to be honest, I'm quite happy with the progress I've made. I know that in my original post I did say that I wanted everything to be at least a work in progress by the start of September, but of those goals which I haven't yet started working towards, there are only perhaps one or two that I doubt my ability to be able to make any real headway with in the near future. And similarly, with those which are already in progress, I believe that I can also see these through to completion in the next few months.

So where does that leave me for now? Well, as I said at the start of my post, for me September has always been a time for making a new start; for looking back at the past, learning from it and moving on into the future. And so that means another to do list. Some items from last time will remain, whilst new ones will be added and completed ones removed, but the aim will remain the same: to make changes that will ultimately make me a happier and more fulfilled individual. And what could be better than that?

So how about you? Are you a list maker? Do you find them useful or ultimately just a paper exercise with little meaning? Tell me all, you know I always love to hear what you have to say!

'Til next time...

On getting older and not letting life pass you by

Source: imgfave.com via Julie on Pinterest

My absence from the blog world of late hasn't probably been that surprising. I haven't blogged regularly in what seems like forever and my motivation to do so has been seriously lacking. And one of the main reasons for this? The fact that I feel I have nothing to write about, that nothing interesting, exciting or worthwhile ever happens to me. The other day I met up with some old friends who I hadn't seen for well over 2 months and they asked how I was and what was new. "Fine", I replied, "but you know me. Nothing really happens; it's just same old, same old." And the fact was I couldn't honestly think of anything to tell. There wasn't one thing of any importance that I could share. The others talked about home improvements, work, holidays, meeting new people. And then there was me, with my 'same old, same old'. I used to have so many dreams, plans and ambitions when I was younger, and now it's like I've just stopped dead where I am, watching the time and my life racing by, eager for something amazing to happen and stop me in my tracks. But it never does and I remain stuck in this vicious circle. The more I sit and do nothing, the less motivated I am to start doing something and the less motivated I am...well you get the picture!

Source: goodmorningandgoodnight.com via Julie on Pinterest

So I've come to a decision: I need to start living again. I need to shake off my sadness that my life hasn't turned out the way I hoped and make every day count. I need to stop waiting around for something wonderful to happen to me and start making my own happiness. I need to realise that I'm the one chiefly responsible for the way my life turns out and that others can only affect me as much as I let them.

Source: yellowbrickblog.blogspot.com via Julie on Pinterest

And how am I going to start doing this? Well, I'm starting by making the commitment to do more of what I know makes me happy long term. I know that I feel fulfilled when I spend time with the people I love. I know that being creative and expressing myself, be it through acting, singing, writing or baking, is something that I'll probably never tire of. I know that when I make the effort to take care of myself mentally, emotionally and physically, I feel so much better than when I neglect these aspects of my life. I know that I'm happier when my mind is stimulated, no matter whether it's through great conversation, reading a good book,   learning something new or even just watching something that really makes me think. I know that I always feel better when I make the effort to 'do', than when I just sit around all day and I know that procrastinating causes me endless stress and worry.

I'm also not going to shy away from making bigger decisions and living new dreams. I'll look into how I can develop my career and turn a job I don't really enjoy into a valuable learning experience, and a step on the way to my ultimate goal. I've always wanted to travel so will look into doing just that. I may be single and not  be be earning as much as I'd like, but there's still nothing to stop me. I'll start budgeting properly and saving so that one day, maybe sooner rather than later, I'll be able to afford my own place. All of these have so far been pipe dreams, but now's the time to start making them real. I might be scared and it might take me a while to put my plans into action but I need to try. Otherwise, I know I'll just end up looking back, cursing the missed opportunities and wishing, wishing, wishing that I'd done more. And that's something I'm not going to let happen.

And's that where I'm going to leave it for today. At least with my words anyway, because I do want to share this amazing manifesto which says it so much better and more succinctly than I ever could:

Source: sweetonveg.com via Julie on Pinterest

'Til next time....

My Summer To Do List

Gone are the days when I used to have a summer break that lasted well over a month; as I'm not working in the education sector at the moment this is a privilege that I'm not currently entitled to. That doesn't mean I don't get holidays of course, just that I get fewer of them so that they seem extra precious when they do roll around. Luckily I'm currently at the start of a 2 week break from work and whilst I'm so looking forward to what it will bring, I'm also extra determined that I'm not going to let a single moment go to waste. With that in mind, I've created a summer to-do list full of all the things I want to achieve over the next couple of months. Some of the things will be more fun than others, but I feel that all of them will have a positive impact on me; mind, body or soul. There's no way I can get them all done in the space of a fortnight (when you see my list you'll understand!), but I can definitely give myself a head start before returning to work on 24th July   :-)

So without further ado, here's my list (starting from 01/07/12 with all items to be at least started by 01/09/12):

Summer To Do List

• Declutter my room (including my wardrobe) and donate as many unwanted items as I can to the charity shop
• Go on a shopping trip to fill in any gaps in my wardrobe (and maybe treat myself too!)
• Spend some time thinking about what my dream job would be (in terms of the skills I'd use/ my motivation for working) and searching for job opportunities that match well with this
• Declutter my email inboxes: delete all non-vital emails and unsubscribe from all my spam
• Get to know my city a little better by visiting new places and/or revisiting old ones with a fresh eye
• Spend some quality time with my family: maybe museum trips with Amy, bowling with all my siblings, DVD nights with my mum and sisters etc
• Be a better blogger: read and comment more on the blogs in my reader and post on a more regular basis
• Buy a Kindle (Purchased 07/07/2012)
• Read more frequently (either real or e-books)
• Get back into the baking habit by baking at least once a fortnight
• Be more active (Exercise for at least 30 minutes 5 times a week)
• Join the gym
• Snack more healthily (Eat chocolate and crisps 2/3 times a week only, and cut down on the amount of biscuits I eat as well as eating more fruit, nuts, cereal etc) and drink more water
• Stop putting off my dental and doctor's check ups and book the appointments!! (Both booked 09/07/2012)
• Stop biting my nails
• Book in at the hairdressers
• Give myself a DIY pedicure
• Exfoliate at least once a week
• Drink a Starbucks frappuccino
• Go for drinks in a beer garden/outside at a friend's
• Recreate my own version of last years Ben and Jerry's festival with friends

See what I mean when I said I wouldn't be able to get all this done in 2 weeks?! I'm really looking forward to making a good start though! And now I'm interested to know about your plans and goals for the summer. Have you made a to-do list? Have you got lots of goals that you want to accomplish or are you just planning on taking it easy? Let me know, you know I'd love to hear from you!

'Til next time...

January round up

I honestly can't believe that we're approaching the end of January already, it certainly doesn't seem like a whole month ago that I awoke with a stinking headache, no phone and only a hazy recollection of the events of the night before! But somehow it has been, and here's my round up of what I've got up to in the last 31 days:

This January I have:

• Vowed not to drink too much ever again...my escapades on New Year's Eve cost me my recently upgraded mobile phone and some of my favourite eyeshadows as well as leaving me with a killer hangover, a badly grazed shoulder and severe embarrassment. Methinks I'll leave the drunkenness to other people from now on.
• Celebrated 4 family birthdays, including my own. I turned 28 on 22nd January and enjoyed a lovely weekend with some of my closest friends and family, during which I was thoroughly spoiled. I really am a very lucky girl! :-)
• Indulged in some shopping of both the sales and non-sales varieties...pictures will be up as soon as I can get hold of a decent camera!
• Enjoyed a lovely 9 day holiday from work :-) I didn't really do much, but it was very nice to get up and go to bed when I pleased, go shopping and get my hair done and generally just laze around <3
• And on the subject of work, I have actually felt more settled in my job and happier with my performance over the last few weeks. Whilst I'm nowhere near as competent and confident as I'd like to be, there have been definite signs of improvement and I'm hopeful that I'm moving in the right direction :-)
• Seen my best friend J (and her husband) for the first time since last summer. The three of us met up for coffee and a chat on Saturday, and whilst we didn't have much time together ( they were only visiting for the weekend so had a seriously packed schedule!) it was lovely to see her again and catch up with all her news. I was especially delighted to discover that she's 14 weeks pregnant (she's due in late July) and to see a scan picture...I'm seriously so happy for her and her husband S and I can't wait for the new arrival.
• Indulged in some girl time with 3 of my favourite ladies. We spent a little time shopping, saw "The Sitter" at the cinema and then rounded our afternoon off with a Nandos. It was an absolutely fantastic few hours and we were all agreed that we should make it a regular occurrence; it was the perfect Sunday treat.
• Enjoyed nights in and out with old friends; these are often some of the highlights of my week and there was no exception this month. I'm so lucky to have such a fantastic group of friends and hope that we'll always be as close as we are now.

And that was my January. How was yours? Did you do anything exciting? Tell all...I'd love to hear from you!

Till next time...

August so far...my highs and lows

Once again, it's been a couple of weeks since my last post...I really don't know where the time goes! I haven't just been sat there doing nothing though, there's been plenty, both bad and good, to keep me busy and those things are exactly what I'm going to share with you today.

Highs

• Exciting baby news: One of my closest friends (I'll call her the "Animal Lover")announced last week that she was expecting her first baby, who's due in late February/early March. It was a lovely surprise and I'm overjoyed for both her and her boyfriend ("The Biker"). I just can't wait until there's another baby in the group to spoil!

• Housewarming fun: In keeping with the major life changes theme, two of my friends (The Comedian and The Enigma) have recently bought their first home together and a couple of Saturdays ago, I spent the evening at their housewarming barbecue. It was just a wonderful night filled with fabulous food (including more crisps on one table than I'd ever seen before!), random conversations and Kinect fun and I hope that we'll be able to do it all over again very soon.

• Adding another recipe to my tried and tested favourites: Unsure of what to give the friends mentioned above as a housewarming present (they'd already been living together previously and I had no idea of what they wanted/needed), I decided to bake something and buy a pretty tin to put it in. My flavour of choice was chocolate...I didn't actually know what the couple liked, but reasoned that everyone loves chocolate! My first thought was brownies, but having never made them before, I decided not to risk an untested recipe. Then I remembered the chocolate cake recipe from the Australian Women's Weekly Complete Book of Cupcakes and Baking (I've tried and failed to find a link to this book on the net...if you want this recipe, let me know and I'll post it on here/email you) and I was pretty sure I was on to a winner. First off, my sister had made it before for a friend who had said it was gorgeous and secondly, all the recipes in the book are triple tested, so are pretty much guaranteed to work :-). And work it did...I divided the mixture into bun cases so I would have some cakes for my friends and some for home, and they were enjoyed by all! My mum said they were one of the best things I'd ever made, a friend of a friend said they were fantastic and I received a lovely text off the Enigma the next day saying how much she and her fiancé the Comedian had enjoyed them. I just love baking and it makes me even happier when people close to me can enjoy it too :-)

• Fantastic friends on Facebook: Last week I received some very good news of my own and when I shared it on Facebook, I was overwhelmed with the support and good wishes I received from my friends. From people of my own age, but also of my parents' generation. From friends who I had seen just the day before, to those who I hadn't seen for years. From old school friends to people I've met much more recently. The congratulations flooded in from all directions, and to say I was touched was an understatement. Sometimes when I'm feeling low I tell myself that no-one cares about me or takes notice of what I have to say, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that's not true. I am loved and cared about more than I've ever realised and that makes me feel incredibly thankful.

And now on to my big news of the last couple of weeks:

I have a new job!! Remember my last post where I alluded to some big changes that might be happening in my work life? Well, it turns out that it was more relevant than I ever thought possible. The day after publishing that post, I received a text from a major banking group that I had previously done an online application for asking me to call their recruitment centre for a telephone interview. I did so and answered 3 mental arithmetic questions and a couple of competency based questions, as well as discussing my recent work history with a very nice man, and was pleased when he announced that I had made it through to the next stage aka the face to face interview, which I booked for last Wednesday. I spent quite a bit of time preparing for the interview and felt I did OK. I wasn't, however, overly confident, partly because I've stumbled at this stage so many times before and partly because I kept analysing my responses to the questions over and over and came up with more and more things I felt I could have done better. I'd been told that it could take up to 10 working days to be informed of the outcome and so I settled down to a long wait for the seemingly inevitable. Imagine my surprise then when I received a phone call from the company explaining that they had managed to get things fast tracked through HR and they were pleased to tell me that I'd been successful!! I won't go into too many details here, as I really feel that the job deserves a post of its own, but I can tell you I'm going to be starting on 19th September, and am really looking forward to this new challenge!! :-)

Lows

• Riots in Greater Manchester (as well as nationwide): Last week there was some of the worst rioting and looting that has ever been seen in England and whilst it was mainly centred around London, on Tuesday last week it also hit Salford and Manchester city centre, only a matter of miles from where I live. The pictures on the TV and news feeds on the internet didn't seem quite real and I was shocked at some of the stories I was reading. An Oxfam shop being looted. A Miss Selfridge shop and a housing office being set on fire. People smashing windows and forcing shutters. None of it really hit home until the next day when I was walking in the centre of town and saw the damage with my own eyes. I just couldn't believe that people could do that to their own city. But as in all of the other places affected by last week's unrest, the community has pulled together and become stronger as a result. On Wednesday morning, for example, as I walked through town after my interview I saw groups of young people wearing protective gloves and armed with rubbish bags all ready to part in the clear up. And today, whilst my sister Amy and I were shopping in Manchester we saw this:

Image taken from here

It's the Manchester Peace Wall, and in the few days since this photo was taken, it's become absolutely filled with post-it notes expressing people's love for the city as well as disgust at the looters and their actions. Amy and I both wrote our own notes and stuck them on the wall, and I just feel really privileged to contribute to such a powerful representation of Manchester's spirit.

• Unexpected work developments and lack of money: News of my new job couldn't have come at a better time as, due to lack of funding, I had to finish my previous job a few weeks earlier than anticipated. I'm going to really have to tighten my belt over the next couple of months or so, and when I consider the number of friends' birthdays that are coming up, it's going to be easier said than done! I'm trying to look on the bright side though...at least I'm still living at home so there are no major bills to pay  and I can also have fun finding low-cost ways to enjoy myself! :-)

And that's all for now. Till next time...

From dreams to reality...

In my most vivid dream last night I was pregnant. And I was absolutely overjoyed. There was a constant stream of happiness bubbling up inside me which threatened to spill out if someone so much as congratulated me on my fantastic news. Hell, I didn't even care when I felt nauseous, so ecstatic was I about the new life growing inside of me. And then I woke up...no baby, no happiness or excitement. Instead I felt bereft, empty. Despite the fact that I'm not actually in any position to have children at this point in my life and I enjoy the sense of freedom and lack of responsibility that being single with no dependants gives me, there it was. A feeling of loneliness and emptiness that, truth be told, is to a certain degree still lingering over 12 hours on.


But this post isn't really about my dream, it's more about my reality...my life today. You see, as someone who is quite into dream meanings and interpretations, one of my first instincts was to try to decipher what my pregnancy dream meant; how it translated into my real life. Now, the night before I had read the happy news that one of my Facebook friends was expecting and I had spent some time looking at some photos of my friend's gorgeous boys, so there's no doubt that these events may have had an influence on the content of my dream. However, I've done these things before and have never dreamed so vividly about pregnancy. I also see news of friends getting engaged and/or married on a regular basis these days and I could probably count on one hand the number of wedding dreams I've had. To put it simply, I was convinced there was some deeper meaning so off I set to look it up. And this is what I found:

To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal. 

Thanks Dream Moods Dictionary!!

It's safe to say that this interpretation definitely resonates with me. My life seems like it's at a crossroads right now and I may well head in a direction that I never would have expected. I've been actively searching for a new job and have come to the conclusion that it may not be in education. And most of the time, I'm ok with that. In fact, there are times when I'm more than ok, as I relish the prospect of new challenges and the opportunity to explore skills and interests that have been put aside in my current job. There are also a number of projects that I'm making a start on. Yesterday and today, I made the first steps in decluttering, organising and tidying my room and I intend for this to be a major and long lasting change. I've updated the photos on my online dating profile and as soon I get time in between working, tidying and job hunting, I'll hopefully start dating again. And after a pair of jeans failed to fit me the other night, it's also my goal to eat more healthily and do more exercise!!

So even though my dream left me feeling sad, I'm aiming to take only positive things from it. I may not be pregnant yet, but I don't want to be right now. There's time enough for that ahead. Instead, I'll think about the new opportunities that are presenting themselves to me and the positive changes I'm making. For now, the growing and developing is about me and my babies are the projects, goals and ideas I'm making happen!! :-)

'Til next time...xx

Last week's Highs and Lows

Yes, I know it's Wednesday and we're nearly half way through this week already, but I'm really aiming to make my "Highs and Lows" posts a regular series again, so I'm starting as I mean to go on! Better late than never, that's my motto!

And so on to last week...there were a few seemingly small, yet meaningful highs mixed with a couple of definite lows but, most importantly, it was a positive one overall and I ended it looking forward to the week ahead :-) . So without further ado, here's what had me beaming from ear to ear or down in the dumps last week:

Highs

• Finding £60 I'd forgotten I had: I was looking for something,opened one of drawers and bam...there it was! A quick check with my mum later, and I established that it was definitely mine to keep spend. :-) Exactly what I needed in these tight financial times!

• A couple of shorter (and quieter) afternoons at work: Last week, the 5 year old boy I act as support worker for had a couple of taster sessions at the school he'll be starting in September. And as his support worker, I accompanied him. The upshot of this was a happy little boy...he loved joining in with all the activities the school had to offer and was really keen to get on well with both his new classmates and the staff working there, as well as a very happy Julie! My afternoons were pretty much stress free due to his excellent behaviour (a radical departure from some days at the nursery) and the fact that I only worked half my usual hours for the two days, but was still paid for the full afternoon each time, made them even sweeter. A definite high in my book.

• Midweek curry night and making winter plans with friends: Last Wednesday night, a few friends and I headed to our local pub for their curry night...curry with all the sides plus a free drink for a bargain price and I'm definitely in! We ate, we drank and also made tentative plans for the winter weekend away I discussed in this post. All in all, it was a lovely relaxing night, perfect for recharging our batteries midweek, and something that I hope we'll repeat sooner rather than later.

• Baking for the first time in AGES: Over the last couple of months, my weekends have been so filled with job applications and other things to get done that any plans to bake have fallen right by the wayside. But last Saturday, with no job applications imminent, I decided to get my baking head on and made 2 batches of flapjacks; one with sultanas and cherries and the other with chocolate chips. Both were delicious (if I do say so myself!) although I don't think I added quite enough liquid to the choc chip batch as they ended up harder and more crunchy than the fruit ones; they kind of reminded of Nature Valley bars. Very tasty, but not so good for your teeth!

• Spending time with the cutest class ever: Last Friday, I had a job interview and whilst I was at the school I had the opportunity to meet one of the classes. And oh my gosh, they were amongst the sweetest children I had ever met. Bright, friendly and full of fun, they had a knack of making me feel instantly at ease and I absolutely adored the time I spent with them. Plus I walked away with a number of pictures they'd made for me, which is always a reliable measure of a good day at school in my book!

• A couple of long lie ins: Whilst I don't have to get up too early for work in the week, I do have to set my alarm so I really appreciated just being able to sleep until the time nature intended last weekend. After 9:30? Don't mind if I do!

Lows

• Not getting the job: Before last Friday, I'd had 2 other job interviews this year. I was unsuccessful on both occasions, and whilst the rejection stung, I wasn't overly upset, probably because I wasn't 100% sure that the jobs or schools were right for me. Friday was different. I really wanted the job. Then I went to the school, met the children and wanted it even more. Everything just seemed to fit: the role I'd be taking on, the ethos of the school, the welcoming attitudes of everyone I met plus the fact that I thought my interview had gone reasonably well. And then I got the call (well, actually the answerphone message as I was working at the time the headteacher rang): I hadn't got it. And let me tell you, it hurt. It hurt like hell. I'd wanted it so badly and there was nothing I could do. Except cry and feel like a massive failure (which I did). And then I dusted myself down and waited for feedback (I'm still waiting now). And so the job hunting starts again...

• My grandad going into hospital: My grandad has been in and out of the hospital over the past week and a half or so. Nothing major but after 3 hospital trips in 4 days, mainly due to minor falls, they decided to keep in him for a few days whilst they worked on his mobility. He finally came out of hospital today, and fingers crossed that, with his new mobility aids and a few adjustments that have been made at his home, he won't be making a return journey any time soon :-)

And that's pretty much it! Hope you're having a good week so far...I'm already thinking of things that can go on my next highs and lows list!!

'Til next time...

Oh hi, July!!

If you'd asked me after my last post how long it'd be before I blogged again, I probably would have said a few days. Maybe even a week or two. But over two months...no way!! But there it is in black and white...my last post was in April and somehow I've resurfaced in July! Now at this point I'd normally apologise for being away for so long and say that it'll never happen again. But this time's going to be a little different. For one, I guess that endless apologies are probably pretty boring to read and two...well, my blogging history suggests that I will disappear again at some point! So this time I'm not apologising, but I am going to fill you in on what I've been up to...

• I've booked and been on a wonderful holiday to Lanzarote with my friend E (aka "The Performer"). It was my first holiday for 2 years and I was really glad of the break. The weather was perfect and the island amazing. I spent my days lazing by the pool and mooching round the shops and my nights sipping cocktails at local bars or drinking wine on our apartment terrace. I returned home with lots of happy memories, probably the best tan I've ever got and possibly a few pounds heavier and I hope to be able to do it all over again, preferably sooner rather than later!!

• Whilst on holiday, I also had some amazing experiences that were a little out of the ordinary. I visited the amazing Timanfaya National Park, rode a camel, tasted local wine and, best of all, went snorkelling! Now as for someone who professes not to like deep water, I suppose I was a little out of my comfort zone (about 5 metres to be exact!) but once I remembered to breathe, it was the most fantastic experience. The fish were beautiful and watching them was so calming...I felt really serene, almost like a mermaid and I definitely want to repeat the experience :-).

• I've kept my job hunting up, albeit with limited success. I have had 2 interviews, both of which I found out about on the same day (seriously, they're like buses!) but unfortunately I failed to secure either post. To be honest, jobs are starting to really dry up now, so if I don't get one in the next couple of weeks, I doubt that I'll know where I'll be come September, but at least I have my nursery job to tide me over. I've still been working part time at the nursery where I started in February and, unlike schools, it's open pretty much year round meaning that at least I'll still be earning in the summer holidays which makes a very welcome change! Unfortunately, it looks like I'll be moving on at the start of the new school year as the child I'm employed to support is starting primary school, but a girl can't have everything I suppose! In other job related news, I finally got to say a proper goodbye to the staff at my last school...it was lovely catching up with everyone and I was surprised and very moved to discover that they'd bought me cards and all clubbed together to buy me a £30 giftcard for Next, which is one of my favourite clothing retailers (after Primark of course!)

• I've had 2 driving tests, which I've failed, and I'm awaiting my third! I'm intermittently taking driving lessons in between times (they're just too expensive to have every week :-( ) and I'm hoping that it'll be third time lucky for me...my bank balance can't really take much more!!

• I've performed in one musical revue with my drama group and I'm now well into rehearsals for our next. We start choreography for the first act tomorrow...it'll be nothing too complicated but, as I'm not a dancer, wish me luck anyway!

• I've spent many more wonderful times with my family and friends. There's been a wedding, a christening, a royal wedding barbecue and drinks in the sunshine as well as multiple meals, nights in and out and general gatherings. Words really can't express how much these people mean to me, they make even the worst times seem not quite as awful and I really am blessed to have each and every one of them!! :-)

And that's pretty much it! I was going to finish up by posting a list of things I'm looking forward to this summer and/or my summer goals, but I'm already at the risk of turning this into a real essay, so they're just going to have to wait a little longer!!

Till next time...

Highs and Lows of the Week

(Picture taken from weheartit.com)

As the picture says, Happy Sunday everyone! Hope everyone is having one as restful and enjoyable as mine has been so far! And as it's Sunday, there's really no better time to post a round up of the highs and lows of my week. Now long-time readers might remember that this was a feature of the blog back in the days when I did actually post with some regularity, and I'm really keen to make it a major part of it this time around too. Not only does this lazy blogger not have to think of anything original to blog about on Sunday nights (a bonus for me, especially if my brain's been mashed with school work!!), but I also feel it's a really good exercise in giving thanks for both the big and not-so-big things that contribute to making my life as good as it is (I am lucky, even if I forget that sometimes  a lot). So without further ado, here's what's been making me smile and cry this week:

Lows

• Being diagnosed with suspected mumps: This has been my big all encompassing low of the week. Now, firstly this has meant that I've had a swollen face (mainly on the LHS) and chin, which was quite painful leading up to, and also in the first couple of days after, my diagnosis. Also, as mumps is a highly contagious disease, I've been sat at home since Tuesday afternoon for fear of infecting others which means I've missed out on watching "Ghost the Musical", rehearsal and the pub with my drama buddies on Friday night and my friend's hen do (bachelorette party) last night. And it's not just socialising that I've been barred from this week...mumps has also cheated me of the chance to say a proper goodbye to all the children I've taught and the staff I've worked with at the school I've been doing long term supply at since the start of November. The last point was by far the hardest to deal with...I'd been coming to terms with the end of my contract on Friday for a few weeks. I'd already started to plan a party for the children I'd worked with and was determined to go out on a high. And then on Tuesday afternoon I went to the doctors and never came back...now the school have made it quite clear that I'm more than welcome to drop in when I'm feeling better and believe me I'm going to (I have a mountain of resources to sort out besides anything else!!), but it still won't be quite the same :-(

Highs

• Realising there really is no place like home: Now when you're ill, or even if you're just feeling sorry for yourself, there's nowhere you'd rather be than home, And no-one you'd rather have taking care of you than your mum! Seriously, I don't know what I'd have done if I hadn't been living at home this week. Mum made sure I had food that I was able to eat (even going so far as to cut the crusts off my bread when my jaw was at its most painful) so I didn't go hungry and I was just able to laze around all day, safe in the knowledge that I had no household jobs to be getting on with. And big thanks also go to my sisters for having the great idea for them, my mum and I to have a DVD night last night and to my dad for hugging me and just being there while I had a bit of a cry the other day. And whilst I'm thanking the others, I suppose I can't go without thanking my brother for not being quite as annoying as usual lol!! Seriously, I would have been lost without them this week, so I'm saying a BIG thank you to them all as well as Happy Mother's Day to my fabulous Mum!!
• Having a rest (which really was needed): This time last week I was STRESSED. I had lots of work still to do for school, I had lots of busy evenings coming up in terms of social events and driving lessons and I really wanted a break. Then came my swollen face and the doctor's appointment and bam!! 3 weeks off. A few days of doing pretty much nothing and a few latish get ups and daytime naps later and I'm feeling pretty much back to normal. Just in time for the 2 week spring holidays...woohoo!! :-)
• Fabulous friends: The kind who take time out of their day to text or fb you to see how you are. The kind who listen to you moan without a word except if it's to check if there's anyway they can make your situation better. I've been reminded of how many of those I have over the past few days, and it's lovely, let me tell you.
• Losing weight: Over the past three or four weeks, I've been following a personal training programme on the "Biggest Loser" Wii game. Now, I won't pretend I've been being a saint by any means...I've not been exercising every day and I'm not being overly restrictive with what I've been eating, but I have been upping my activity levels (both in terms of doing the suggested workouts and some extra walking thanks to my afternoon job) so I was quite disappointed when my first couple of weigh ins showed that I hadn't lost any weight and my weight had, in fact, marginally increased. So it was with trepidation that I stepped onto the balance board today, having done no exercise for over a week and I was convinced that I'd be looking at no change at best. Imagine my disbelief when I saw that I had, in fact, lost 1.4 kg!! Considering my appetite hasn't been noticeably decreased by my illness, it came as quite a welcome surprise, but now the flip side is that I'm feeling the pressure not to put the weight back on as soon as I can eat crisps and the like!

And that was the week that was...and here's to the next one!! :-)

Till next time...

Highs and Lows of October so far

After yet another absence from the blogging world, here I am again!! In some ways, it seems like I've done nothing this October; supply work seems to have dried up (for the moment at least) and I've spent the majority of my days staying at home. But when I actually stop and look back on the month so far, it doesn't seem like quite so much of a non-event after all. There have certainly been plenty of highs (and a few lows) that have made this month a memorable one anyway. And, without further ado, here we are:

Highs

• Almost 2 weeks ago now, my friends N and M welcomed their second child into the world :-) He's a boy, his first name begins with J and he's an absolutely adorable addition to their little family!! I've so enjoyed being a part of his older brother H's life and watching him grow up and I can't wait to do it all again with little J!!

• After over a month and a half of (sometimes) serious job hunting and a very definite lack of supply work which saw me becoming very disillusioned and hating the situation I found myself in, there is now the definite possibility of a light at the end of the tunnel. You see, yesterday I found myself in the extremely privileged position of being contacted about not just one job opportunity but two!! I'm not going to go into too much detail at the moment but I'm just so relieved that things seem to be going my way at last. My finances are starting to become a bit of a worry, especially with Christmas and quite a few birthdays coming up, so if I get even one of these jobs (they're both part time), it would be a major load off my mind :-)

• Right at the start of the month I was thrilled to get a part in my drama group's pantomime!! In January, we'll be staging Aladdin and I'll be playing the Spirit of the Ring (insert your own jokes here...the rest of the cast has!!). It's not the part I auditioned for, but I actually prefer this one anyway (there's no solo singing, which I'm very happy about :-) ) And, as long time readers of my blog will know, I was really disappointed not to be successful at last year's panto auditions, so to get any part is just a dream come true!! Initial readthroughs of the script have been a blast, and I'm really looking forward to more rehearsals and getting to spend more time with our amazing cast.

• And continuing on the dramatic theme...I went to the theatre a couple of weeks ago and saw the most amazing performance of "A Streetcar Named Desire". Having never seen or read the play before, or watched the film, I didn't really know what to expect but I was absolutely blown away. All the performances were top notch, and the three hours plus running time simply flew by; definitely an experience not to miss!!

• Spending more time with friends...what with the birth of Baby J, 2 birthdays over the past few days and another one coming up fast and numerous TV/DVD nights, I'm getting to spend some much needed quality time with my friends. And after all the "likes" I got on my new Facebook status regarding my job prospects, I'm once again reminded of just how great they are :-)

• Lovely October weather...be it unseasonably warm, or cold and crisp, there have been some beautiful sunny days which have been just perfect for walking in

• Autumn baking...I've tried out a couple of new recipes, both featuring apples and a subtle taste of spice (just perfect for this autumn weather!!) and I've got more up my sleeve for over the next couple of weeks...I'm thinking Halloween cookies, something involving pumpkin and sticky parkin. Oh, and I'm seriously thinking about starting a baking blog. What do you reckon??

• Up...I was introduced to this film last weekend by one of my girl friends and I'm in love. It's seriously one of the most beautiful, funny and moving films I've ever seen and I'm hooked. Even if it did make me cry more than most other films ever have. Seriously, I was crying like a baby!! But I still love it, and I need a copy in my life, like now!!

Lows

• Receiving some negative (and I feel pretty unwarranted) feedback from a school I worked at...again I don't want to go into detail, but there were two main issues which were raised. One which, in hindsight, I maybe could have handled slightly differently, although I feel like I was very much manipulated by the headteacher and placed in a situation in which it was very difficult for me to act appropriately. And then two, which I completely dispute and feel like it almost amounted to a personal attack, as opposed to a constructive criticism of my teaching.

• Lack of work and money and what feels like endless hours of job hunting: As I mentioned before, this has really got me down over the past few weeks although, fingers crossed, I'll hopefully have some good news on this front soon!! Tomorrow's looking to be a red letter day...I'm making a phone call to one of the possible employers tomorrow morning to find out more details about that job and I have an interview for the other post tomorrow afternoon. Fingers crossed the outcomes are positive!!

And that's all for now. Hope everyone else is having a good month...I've got so many of your blogs to catch up on!! Till next time...

Highs and Lows

I've been meaning to post this all day but, despite not working today, have only just got round to it now! So very quickly, as I'm wanting to go to bed shortly, here are my "Highs" and "Lows" of last week:

Highs

• Fantastic weather: The UK got its first taste of summer last week, with glorious sunshine and temperatures in the mid to high 20s (Celsius obviously!!) and it was heavenly!! If only we could have that for 3 months every summer, it would be perfect!!
• Summer clothes: The gorgeous weather meant that I was also able to break out my summer clothing for the first time since last year...summer skirts, brightly coloured dresses, denim shorts and sandals, I didn't realise how much I'd missed you!!
• Free shopping: As you'll probably all know, I love shopping, and I love it even more when my purchases don't actually cost me anything!! A couple of months ago, I got a new mobile phone, and as a free gift I received some HMV vouchers, which I finally spent last week. I bought 4 DVDs, and they didn't cost me a penny! Then, on the same shopping trip, I decided to treat myself to an iced coffee from Starbucks which, you guessed it, was also free courtesy of some coupons they'd sent me earlier in the week! I still have a couple of their vouchers left over, so am hoping to be getting some more free coffee sometime soon!
• Another interview (and some useful feedback): I know I've already blogged about part of this point, but last week I received a letter inviting me to a job interview in a couple of weeks. Yay!! I also had an interview itself last week, and whilst I didn't get the job (boo!!), I did receive some genuinely useful feedback and advice from the school's headteacher, which I can hopefully put to good use next time around!
• Good news from the dentist: I had my first dentist's appointment in over a year last Friday, and was a bit worried about the state of my gums, as on my last visit there had been some concern that I was showing the early signs of gum disease, and I'd hardly been diligent in following the treatment programme my dentist had recommended. Luckily, this time around my gums were fine, even if another problem was discovered (more about that later!)

Lows

• An annoying sore throat: It first reared its ugly head last Wednesday, and then stuck around for Thursday too. It seemed to have disappeared by Friday, but made its presence felt again as soon as I started to sing at rehearsal on Friday night :-( Then the weekend passed with no incident, but guess what happened at Monday's rehearsal...?! Just go away and stay away please!
• The downsides of the heat: Namely, stubbing and cutting my little toe whilst wearing my gladiator sandals on Saturday, having to shave my legs practically every day to get away with the bare legged look and getting an annoying bite/heat lump on my right ankle!
• Not getting the job: It sucked. I had a mini 5 minute meltdown. Nothing else to say about that one really.
• Bad news from the dentist: I need a filling. And my teeth cleaning professionally. And neither of those things come cheap (in my opinion, anyway!)

And that's about all of them! I suppose I could have added in the "low" of someone wearing the same dress as me when I was out on Saturday, but I suppose it was qute funny looking back, and my friends all told me I looked better than she did anyway :-) Thanks guys!!

Till next time...

Just dropping by...

to let everyone know that I am still actually here, even if I have been absent from the blogging world for the last week and a half! I was truly intending to post on a more regular basis, but my life seems to have turned into an endless cycle of work and job applications over the past couple of weeks, and although I have had some downtime, I've always seemed to spend it doing something else. Bad blogger!! Unfortunately, I don't think there's going to be any let up in the work (at school or home) just yet, which is a pity because there's so much I want to blog about, I almost don't know where to begin...what I've been up to, our new(ish) kitten, lots more "Wardrobe Wednesdays", the "Highs" and "Lows" of the past couple of weeks; the list could go on and on!! And there's so many blogs I want to catch up on...I've missed you guys SO much!!

But it seems I'm just going to have to wait a little longer. I will try very hard to blog again soon, but I know better than to make any rash promises ;-)!! 'Til the next time (which I hope won't be as long!!)...

Musings from my dark side

Despite the fact that I sometimes wish that my blog had more readers, it's times like today when I'm glad that my friends don't read my blog or, in most cases, aren't even aware of its existence. Why? Because I'm about to make a confession that may hurt, upset, anger or disappoint them if I knew the truth. And the truth is this: I'm jealous. Not of all my friends or in every aspect of life; my own particular green eyed monster is a sneaky creature and is very picky about the times it chooses to emerge. So let me illustrate with an example...

The time: Saturday night. The place: A bustling bar in the centre of town. The players: 5 twentysomethings; 2 of whom are a couple and 3 who are single (including me and my friend E). Everything is going swimmingly. Drinks and conversation are flowing, the music is great and the atmosphere's just right until...a guy spots E and makes it quite clear he's interested. So everyone else starts laying the groundwork; people strategically swap places so that the two couldn't help but "accidentally" bump into each other, one of us goes over to the guy to tell him E's name and even I try to convince E to go over and talk to him (she doesn't believe in making the first move!) Then after 45 minutes of trying, just as the likelihood of the plans coming to fruition is looking increasingly remote, BAM...conversation ensues and kisses and mobile numbers are exchanged. Mission accomplished! So tell me this...why did I not feel happy for her? Why did I wish it hadn't happened? Why was I feeling increasingly down?

Now, I meant what I said to her...I genuinely wanted her to start talking to him. They were obviously interested in each other and it would have been a shame if the opportunity had been missed. And I see my friends in relationships, and other than the odd wistful "I wish I had my someone special", they don't have a negative effect. I watched my best friend J get married and it was one of the happiest occasions in my life, and I feel the same happiness whenever I see her and her husband together, as they're such a good match. So again I ask: why did this hurt me so?

I do have some theories, some which I feel are more relevant than others, but all containing at least a grain of truth.

• Was I annoyed that my friends weren't putting in a similar effort to set me up with someone? This is probably the weakest of my theories. Yes, I do get my paranoid moments where I think that my friends don't really like me that much, but to be fair, I hadn't seen anyone who I was interested in, and even if they had tried to set me up with someone, I probably wouldn't have been interested anyway as I'm notoriously picky!
• Was my lack of self esteem the cause of my jealousy? I think this definitely played a part. I don't think I'm particularly physically attractive, and so I think I may well have seen the fact that someone was interested in E as a reflection on my attractiveness. Men are often interested in her when we're on a night out, therefore she must be better looking than I am (at least in my head, if not in real life.)
• Am I scared of being alone? In a word, yes! E and I have both been single for a while, so I suppose I might be scared of being on my own if she started a relationship with someone new. She might not be my best friend, but we are very close and she's the friend I see most of, as J lives a couple of hours away. Now, I know full well she's not the type of person who'd drop her friends if a guy came along, but it didn't make any difference to my thoughts on Saturday night! I hate the thought of being the only single girl in my circle of friends. I suppose with this one I'm feeling a bit like House in S4, where he's coming to terms with Wilson having a new girlfriend, or even like Holmes in the new Sherlock Holmes film, when he seems to be less than happy at the thought of Watson getting married. But this is where the similarities end...unlike those two characters, I wouldn't stoop to sabotage to try and ensure that she remains single! I always give her honest advice and I want her to be happy...that's why I encouraged her to go and talk to the guy at the bar and also why we spent hours together beforehand picking out an outfit that she felt happy in, as she was having a fat day and feeling pretty down in the dumps. And I know she'd do the same for me. Which is why I'd be horrified if she knew I felt this way.

So, there we are. I appreciate that I may raise some strong opinions with this post...I fully expect to. If you think that I'm horrible then, as much as it would hurt me to hear, then so be it...I don't exactly like this side of me either but it's something that I've got to deal with somehow. And I thought that maybe writing it down might be the best place to start...

Things I'm loving today...

Well, I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself today, so because I know it's not healthy to wallow in self pity for too long (believe me, I've tried), I've decided to give myself a kick up the backside by making a list of the things I'm loving today. So, drumroll please because, in no particular order, we have:

• The beautiful weather...it's a lovely sunny day today and apparently it even feels quite mild outside! Maybe my prayers from Sunday have been answered!


• The fact I don't start work until 2 pm today and will be done by 6...I know it means that I won't get paid as much, but there is just something so decadent about swanning into work after lunch and and working less than half a day!


• This song:

I went to the first rehearsal for my drama group's new show last night and we started going through a few of the songs. Moon River was one of them. Whilst I've been aware of the song before now, I never realised how beautiful it was until last night. Now I absolutely love it...I've been singing it all day and I get a feeling that my family might be sick of hearing it long before the show kicks off in July!

• The fact that it's been really easy to meet one of my goals:
In Sunday's post, I was bemoaning the fact that most of my goals weren't really happening for me, including the one to put some money in my ISA each month. But today, I took my own advice and set up a standing order which will transfer some money from my current account every month. It was really quick and easy to set up, and is also a perfect solution for me, as now I don't have to physically get to my bank to pay money in! RESULT!

And whadd'ya know? I'm actually feeling a little cheerier already! Maybe I should get back to doing these lists more often...!

Is it really going to be March tomorrow?

I honestly can't believe it...2 full months into 2010 already! February, in particular, has absolutely raced by for me...working full time did for the first half of the month, and then I had a week off which of course was a guarantee that that time would just fly! Then back to work, and here we are! Anyway, enough of my ramblings about the fleeting nature of time(!), and back to the real focus of this post...a look back at February, a look forward to March and an update on where I'm at with my 2010 goals.

Looking back

So, in a nutshell, my February has been all about:

Teaching...I taught full time for the first two weeks of the month, plus a little bit this week and I also had a interview/lesson observation at one school plus an additional lesson observation at a second. My interview at the second school isn't until Wednesday, so I technically can't include it here!

• Treating myself...Whether it's been shopping for clothes, watching a certain film for the 4th time, grabbing a coffee or just enjoying a cheeky glass of wine on an otherwise quiet night in, February's been a month for indulging myself a little! Bad for my bank balance maybe...but good for my soul, as long as I don't make too much of a habit of it! Maybe I should start looking for treats that don't cost a penny, like the fab time Amy and I had exploring Manchester.

• Friends and family...As always, the most important people in my life have been a common thread linking the best parts of this month together. From fantastic nights full of WKD, homemade gingerbread and cheesy dancing or cocktails and karaoke at the start of the month, to theatre going, beer drinking, "intelligent" conversation and multiple toasting in the middle and DVD nights and play watching at the end...my friends have been there for it all, and I know that these times wouldn't be the same without them. And as for my family...my week off enabled me to get in a whole lot of sister (and Mum) time, be it shopping with all the girls, or going to town with Amy. Then there's the weekends...spending Saturday lunch with my grandad and uncle, as well as the rest of my family has been a tradition for as long as I can remember, and I wouldn't be without it. And recently, we've started adding a couple of new parts to the tradition...after lunch, we'll sit down and play cards or (our current favourite) dominoes. What started as a little fun has now turned into some serious rivalry with all of us vying to be the winner! Yesterday, I did pretty well...I won 2 of the 4 games, and am hoping to keep hold of my crown for next week!

Looking forward

Next month, I'm looking forward to:

• Starting rehearsals for my new show...After having a month off, my drama group starts rehearsals for our new show tomorrow and I can't wait! It'll be great to see everyone again and I'm really looking forward to making a start on learning our new songs.

• The days getting longer and the nights getting shorter...As someone who has had seemingly months of leaving for work before sunrise and arriving home after sunset, I am so looking forward to that little extra bit of daylight which March will bring!

• The end of winter and the beginning of spring...In a similar vein, I'm now heartily sick of the particularly cold weather that much of this winter has brought with it and I'm really hoping that March will herald the start of spring and bring warmer temperatures and sunny days, instead of the ever present threat of snow that I associate with this winter.

• More good times with family and friends...Although there are no definite plans as yet, I'm sure that March will mean more opportunities for fun with my favourite people. There are a couple of friends' birthdays coming up, so I'm sure I'll end up going out for those, if nothing else! Plus it's Mother's Day here in the UK in a couple of weeks so I'm looking forward to celebrating with my mum then too.

Goals Update

So, back at the beginning of January, I posted my Goals List for 2010. Having had a look through it, I'm shocked at how many of the goals have just fallen by the wayside or, even worse, have never really got started. I really need to make a bigger effort next month methinks. Nevertheless, for your consideration, here is my Goals Update for January and February:

• Pass my driving theory and practical tests...this is a work in progress. My driving instructor has given me some really positive feedback of late, and I've now booked my theory test...the date is the 8th of April, so wish me luck! If all goes well, then it'll be all systems go for booking my practical...eek!
• Get a long term/permanent job...again, a work in progress. I'm still applying for jobs on a regular(ish) basis and have had one unsuccessful interview since the start of the new year, with another interview scheduled for next week.
• Be a better friend...now this started off quite well, and I made specially sure that I was in touch with my best friend J every week during January. But now things have tailed off, and as awful as it sounds, I often forget to stay in touch! To be fair, I don't ignore people and always reply if they get in touch with me, but I need that extra kick up the backside to motivate me to make the first move!
• Be a better sister/daughter...again this is something I've not seen much progress with...I have my appreciative moments and times when I really take time out to listen to my family like I should, but also my selfish moments and little strops where I act more like 2 than 26!
• Run the Race for Life and better last year's time...I've not signed up for this yet, but I fully intend to and this year, I definitely won't be walking it!
• Adopt a healthier lifestyle...Unfortunately, this hasn't really took off so far this year. Whilst I haven't put any weight on, I haven't lost any either and this is down to the fact that I'm still not always making the healthiest snack choices and that I'm struggling with finding an exercise I like enough to fit around work. Hopefully when I sign up for Race for Life, it'll be a good motivator as I'll want to get in shape!
• Read at least 2 books a month from beginning to end...I met this in January (I read "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" and "The Return of Sherlock Holmes") but have failed this month...I'm only just over half way through my first book! I am enjoying it, but just can't seem to find the time lately!
• Grow my nails...Epic fail! Nothing much else I can say!
• Overcome my fear of thunder and lightning...A bit of a weird one this, I haven't sought any professional help and I guess I'm just waiting to see how I deal with the next stormy day we get.
• Put at least £50 in my ISA each month...Another fail! Probably because I'm not used to putting money in it so I just forget about it! I should maybe set up a standing order, then I've got no excuse!
• Keep a careful track of my finances and set myself a budget...And another one! I'm finding it quite hard to manage my money at the minute, although in my defence, it's very hard to set myself a budget when I never know exactly how much money I've got coming in each month! Definitely something I need to work on!
• Develop my cookery skills...Does making gingerbread count? That's the only thing I've made this year, and as it's a recipe I'd already tried last year, I can't say I've met my goal! Like some of the other goals, I need to set aside time to work on this!
• Cleanse, tone and moisturise every morning...On the whole, this has been a success and I'd say I'm managing at least 6 mornings out of 7!
• Let go of my baggage from the past...This is another slightly strange one, as I think the only way of measuring how successful I'd been would be to be in a situation that I'd found difficult in the past because of my baggage, and obviously this isn't something that I can really manufacture. Also I'm not really sure how to go about it, as I don't want to spend loads of time needlessly raking over the past, as it's never really helped me before!

And that's it from me! Hope everyone has a great March, and I'll hopefully be back soon with normal(ish) service resumed!

2010 goals and resolutions (better late than never!!)

I know we're a couple of days into 2010 now, but as it's my first post of the year (and I already said I'd do it), I've decided to post a list of my goals and resolutions for 2010. I was initially planning to do a "101 in 1001" list, but I couldn't think of 101 things that I wanted to achieve, so I decided to make most of the goals on that list things that I want to achieve this year instead!

So without further ado here's what I hope to make happen in 2010:

• Pass my driving theory and practical tests.
• Get a long term/permanent job, preferably as a primary school teacher.
• Be a better friend: talk to/email/text/write to my best friend J at least once a week and initiate contact with other friends more than I currently do
• Become a better sister/daughter: specifically listen to my family and appreciate them more.
• Run the Race for Life again this year and better my time from last year.
• Adopt a healthier lifestyle: cut down on unhealthy snacks and do a minimum of 30 minutes of physical activity 3 times a week
• Read at least 2 books per month from start to finish (without skipping to the end!)
• Grow my nails
• Take steps to help overcome my fear of thunder and lightning
• Put at least 50 pounds into my ISA each month
• Keep a careful track of my financial incomings/outgoings and set myself a budget
• Develop my cookery skills
• Cleanse, tone and moisturise every morning
• Let go of my baggage from the past once and for all

Looking at the list now it seems to be quite a challenge, but I'd rather try and run the risk of not meeting my goals, than not try at all! Fingers crossed that come December 31st, I'll be able to say I've met all my goals, but if not, at least I'll hopefully be to say that I've given it my best shot! Wish me luck (and willpower!) as I start my journey into 2010!!

Highs and Lows of the Week

Can't believe it's Monday already...the weekend went far too quickly! But it is, which means only one thing...that it's time to share my highs and lows of last week!

Highs

• Having a 3 day week: Now I could have been negative and seen my return to work after half term as a bad thing, but I'm not going to. One of the reasons is that I only actually worked on 3 days last week. I had Monday off as the schools didn't go back till Tuesday, and although I was available for work on Friday, I just didn't get a call which meant no work and an early start to my weekend! The second reason that I quite liked work last week was that three of the four classes I worked with were absolutely lovely, and at the end of the day I left the classroom feeling good about myself which is sometimes a rarity!

• New clothes: I picked up a couple of new tops from Asda last week that I'm planning on wearing for a couple of big nights out that I've got coming up...the joint birthday bash for my friends E and D on Saturday and my friend L's hen do on the Saturday after that. No pictures yet...I'll either do them in my next wardrobe Wednesday or when I've actually worn the tops.

• Christmas Starbucks: I was so excited when I went in Starbucks on Friday and saw that the red cups were back and the Christmas food and drink ranges were in store. I just had to have a Gingerbread latte and a Cranberry and Orange muffin (both skinny...so zero guilt on my part!). And they were so good that I was forced to go back yesterday and have another latte and a Christmas Pudding cupcake. I'm already wracking my brains to think of the next time I can go back for another treat!

Lows

• Rain: As I sit and type this it's a lovely sunny day, and I can already see the beginnings of a gorgeous sunset. It's so much better than the almost endless rain we had last week which was horrible. I got soaked on the way to work and then, after getting dried out, proceeded to get drenched again on the way home. Although I used an umbrella, my coat got wet, my trousers got wet and water somehow leaked into my shoes and I ended up with wet feet. Nightmare!! I'm seriously considering buying a pair of wellies so it doesn't happen again!

• My dodgy immune system: I came down with a cold on Saturday night, which meant I was sniffling then and all day yesterday, and am rather blocked up today. I know I'm lucky that it was over quite quickly and I haven't been that ill, but I hate that annoying feeling where you're not completely well, but not really ill either. It's also my third cold since August, so I think I've already had more than my fair share!

• The X Factor: I normally love this show but I'm getting really sick of it now due to the fact that the terrible twins are getting through week after week. They can't sing, can't dance and are really annoying and I think it's really unfair that better singers are going out at their expense. And I can't believe that Simon Cowell didn't take the opportunity to get rid of them when they were in the bottom 2 last night! He's been moaning for weeks about how bad they are but failed to do anything about the situation when he had the chance! It does make me seriously consider the rumours that the show has been fixed in favour of them, and if they do get much further, I think I'm going to give up and watch Strictly Come Dancing instead!

So there's my highs and lows. How was last week for you?