I'm nostalgic for:
- the excitement I felt when I was going out with my first real boyfriend and the openness of my heart back then. I wasn't the bitter cynic I am now; I was fuelled by happiness and and optimism about what the future would hold.
- the hours I used to spend on the Internet in my college lunchtimes: taking quizzes on emode, having my very own animals on Neopets and creating personalised email addresses on another.com. Although I suppose the dropdeadgorgeous.co.uk domani wouldn't go down very well on CVs and application forms nowadays!
- listening to my music on a personal CD player or even a Walkman!
- my favourite chocolate orange lip balm from Boots...I've even tried to ebay this but can't find it anywhere!
- the way the Trafford Centre used to be...I used to be able to watch cheap movies in the morning, grab tuna mayo baguettes from my favourite sandwich bar, have a fantastic night out and soak up the atmosphere and individuality of the "Festival Village" market. Whilst I still love the place, the days of being able to do any of those things are long gone! :-(
- the time when my idea of dressing up for a night out was black trousers and a sparkly top...oh how times (and fashions!) have changed! That said, I'm still a magpie...I love glittery things!
- the thrill I got when being served alcohol underage (such a rebel lol!)
- being able to see my best friend J every week, instead of just a few times a year.
- a time when life was simpler, and seemed more certain... at 17 I thought I knew which direction my life would go in, now I don't have a clue!
However, I know I can't look back forever. As Michael Cibenko so neatly put it: "One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn round to find the future has run out on us." And I know that's true. I may look back fondly to my times in college, but there are many things that I am grateful for now and things that I have to look forward to in the future. My family and friends and the enjoyment I get from spending time with them, my future career and relationships, plans for study and travel and the hope that eventually I'll fall in love, marry and have children...it would be a crime if I let the past obscure the good that is now, and that is to come. That doesn't mean I'll stop the nostalgia, after all it's always good to reminisce, but I think I'll try and bring it down a notch from now on. After all, you never know what I could miss out on just because I wasn't looking in the the right direction!