A weekend round up

I thought I'd take a trip back in time tonight and write a weekend round up. In the early(ish) days of my blog, these featured on a semi-regular basis, but fast forward a couple of years and they're something that's long since fallen by the wayside. Granted, this may have quite a lot to do with the fact that I don't really do things at weekends any more but still...!

Friday
I finished work early (I was working an 8-4 shift), then headed home to get ready for a work summer party. Having not really socialised much with my work colleagues since I started my job in September and unsure who else was going, I was initially a little apprehensive about attending but when I discovered that I would know quite a few people there and that tickets were the bargain price of £1, I thought why the hell not! And I'm really glad I did! It was a night of discovering new favourite drinks and eating delicious buffet food. Of singing my heart out and playing the tambourine in a private karaoke booth. Of witnessing people doing things you never would have expected and seeing them in a whole new light. Of cheesy dancing, random singing and (semi) drunken conversations. Of the kind of fun I haven't had in a long time. It was much needed, and the sort of night I'll be making the effort to have lots more of in the future.

Saturday
I woke up about 9:30, had a leisurely breakfast of pancakes and syrup (a real favourite at the mo) and then got ready for work (one of the downsides of my job is that I have to work 2 Saturdays out of every 3). As it was Saturday, I allowed myself enough time to have lunch in Starbucks (I feel I should reward myself for working on weekends!) before making my way to work ready for my 1-9 shift. It wasn't fun. Not that working on a Saturday ever is, but yesterday was especially stressful. Basically over the last few days, the company I work for has suffered some serious problems with its IT systems, meaning that we currently have lots of unhappy customers. And while I really do sympathise with them, there's only so much unhappiness and stress a girl can take, especially when you've been dealing with much the same for the previous two days. But on the other hand, at least I was getting paid to deal with it! So I, along with my colleagues, sucked it up, tried to help as many people as we could and were all very relieved when 9 o'clock rolled around! Then I went home, had a light supper then crashed in front of the TV/computer for a couple of hours before heading to bed...that's as exciting as it got!

Sunday
I had a lazy morning (ate some breakfast, had a shower, got dressed, listened to the radio) and then headed to a rehearsal for my drama group's latest show which is coming up in less than two weeks! Eek! Even though they can be a bit stressful at times, especially when it's this close to the show, it's great getting together with all my friends, having fun on stage and watching all our hard work come together. After rehearsal, I walked home in the sunshine (a welcome sight after what seems like weeks of rain) and have spent a chilled out evening on the computer and half watching the football on TV. Come on England!!

And that was my weekend (although if we're being technical I suppose as I've booked tomorrow off work it hasn't finished just yet!) How was yours? Did you get up to anything fun or was it just more of the same old, same old variety? Drop me a line and let me know, as always I'd love to hear from you!

'Til next time...

Apologies...

because this is going to be uber short!! With 6 people in the house, and only one computer free (my laptop is currently poorly and we can only use my brother's computer when he's not watching TV, as he uses that in place of a monitor), screen time is limited and best used for essentials!! I'm also off out now, so no more blogging today!!
Till next time...

Easter Weekend Round Up 1: Good Friday and Easter Saturday

Just because I think my weekend round up would be too long if I tried to squeeze all 4 days into one post, and also because I can't think of anything else to blog about today, here's part 1 of my Easter weekend (in a handy bulleted list!)

Good Friday

My Friday was mainly spent:

• Having a lazy start to the day: lounging around in pjs, eating yummy hot cross buns for breakfast and having a leisurely shower before getting dressed and ready to face the world!
• Being veggie for the day: although I'm not particularly religious, my family and I keep the tradition of not eating meat on Good Friday, which meant my Mum's home made fish mornay with chips for lunch and a jacket potato with cheese and beans for tea.
• Helping my friend N with his lines for a play he's appearing in in a couple of weeks. It really makes me want to act again!
• Dodging the rain and laughing at dodgy covers of songs with my friend E as we did a bit of much needed shopping (well, she did whilst I browsed and tried on hats lol!)
• Helping E sort out her wardrobe with the help of a couple of other friends; if Aerosmith had been playing, it would have been practically the perfect reenactment of this scene from Sex and the City (minus the ridiculous poses and champagne!)
• Spending a chilled evening at my friends J and B's new flat with a group of other friends; drinking wine, eating pretzels, mini Cadbury creme eggs and home made choc chip cookies, chatting and high kicking (well, attempting to anyway!)

Easter Saturday

On Saturday I was:

• Stressing far too much about what to wear: despite the fact I've got a HUGE wardrobe, I just couldn't find anything I wanted to wear yesterday morning. And my stress was made worse by the fact that I knew I had to get a second outfit sorted for the evening (but more about that later!)
• Eating a delicious meal with my closest family and feeling far too full afterwards: I had a chicken melt (chicken breast topped with bacon and cheese), the best chips I've ever tasted, BBQ sauce and salad and it was amazing (and huge!) Somehow, I still found room for dessert though : vanilla ice cream with strawberry sauce and wafer curls. It goes without saying that the company was great too, and I also had fun testing out my new camera phone by taking lots of pictures!
• Buying a second confirmation card for my friend M: I had originally bought one on Thursday but then got home to discover that it was no longer in my possession! I still had the receipt but no card! So I had to make a dash to the nearest card shop to get one yesterday instead; not that I minded too much as it meant I could attempt to walk off my lunch!
• Sorting out part of my wardrobe: having been inspired by E, I decided to finish the job of clearing out my wardrobe and managed to fill another carrier bag with things I'll never wear again!
• Sitting (and standing!) through a very long Easter Vigil: Whilst I'm not Catholic, it was my friend M's confirmation last night, so I, along with a few other friends, went along to show my support. I'm glad I was there for his big night, but I don't think I'll be converting to Catholicism any time soon! (No offence intended to any Catholics out there!)
• Eating late night takeaway, drinking a mug of tea and being taken back to my college days (2001 to be precise) by watching a programme which was showing all the number ones of the 21st century so far. It took me right back to being 17 again...it seems like only yesterday so it's rather scary to realise it was 9 years ago!

And there's Part 1! Stay tuned for Part 2 appearing in a couple of days! And one last thing...have a very happy Easter, and make sure you eat lots of chocolate (I know I will be!)

Clouds and Silver Linings

I've been doing my "Highs and Lows of the Week" posts for quite a while now, but last week I really noticed how closely some of the highs linked with some of the lows...just like clouds and their silver linings (hence the title of this post!). So, for this week at least, my highs will be mixed in with my lows just to remind me that clouds do have their silver linings, and that we can find positives in most situations if we look hard enough!

Cloud

• I didn't get the job - As some of you will know I went for a interview last week, for a job that I think would have suited me down to the ground. After the interview, I had mixed feelings about my performance...I thought some of my answers were spot on, but that others were absolutely awful! After around 3 very stressful hours of waiting, I got a call from the headteacher telling me that unfortunately I had been unsuccessful on that occasion. Yes, I was badly disappointed but there was just a glimpse of a silver lining...

Silver Lining

• But my interview feedback was excellent - As standard, the headteacher gave me feedback and said that my interview had gone very well indeed, and that I'd only just been pipped to the post by the person they'd eventually appointed (who had a great deal of experience) and that it had been a difficult decision. This reassured me that the interview had been better than I'd percieved it and also gave me more confidence to take to other interviews in future. I know I'm nearly there...it's just a case of finding the right job for me!

Cloud

• 3 hours of stress whilst waiting to hear if I'd been successsful in my interview...as I mentioned in the previous cloud, I had 3 hours of jangling nerves and butterflies in my tummy whilst I was waiting for THAT call. I'm naturally quite impatient, so every minute was like agony. I tried to keep occupied, so I logged onto Blogger, and whilst I was browsing through my dashboard and I found my silver lining...

Silver Lining

• I'd won my first giveaway: A few weeks ago Holly from Her Southern Heart was running a week of giveaways. I left comments on her blog to enter, then forgot all about them. But there it was in black and white! I'd won a pair of beautiful earrings courtesy of Holly and Barefoot Maiden! I was so excited, especially as I couldn't remember the last time I'd won anything! So I left a very excited thank you comment on Holly's blog, sent her a very excited email and am now (im)patiently waiting for the earrings to wing their way across the pond! I'm so eager to get them, and will be sure to blog about them when they arrive!

Cloud

• I'm no dancer: It was my friend L's hen night on Saturday, so all the girls (and one guy!) headed out to a club called Copacabana in Manchester. As the name suggests, it's a Latin club and included in the package we'd booked for the evening was a 45 minute Latin dance lesson...perfect for L who's been dancing since the age of 3, but a lot more intimidating for me who has 2 left feet and a lack of natural rhythm! Our class was merengue, which was meant to be really simple to pick up and at first things weren't so bad. I picked up the basic footwork with little difficulty, but just when I was feeling pleasantly surprised...reality kicked in! I'm obviously not meant to dance with a partner, as when my friend E and I teamed up, it was murder on the dancefloor (on my part, not E's!) The instructors could see we were having difficulties, so stepped in, which made me feel even worse! I know I needed to relax and loosen up, but I get tense when I'm struggling with something, and dancing with someone unfamilar didn't help matters! Eventually, I got to a point where I could dance with an instructor, but leave me to my own devices and bam...right back to reality! But despite massacring the merengue...

Silver Lining

• I had a fantastic night, and I'm determined to master the merengue! : Although the dance lesson was a debacle...it didn't stop me from enjoying the rest of the night! We had a gorgeous tapas meal, frozen cocktails and great fun wearing our pink fluffy kitten ears and waving our fluffy wands! We even did some dancing although none of us were brave enough (or had good enough memories!) to put our new found "skills" to the test! I've also gained a new found determination to become a better dancer...there's no way I'm going to let a few steps defeat me lol!

So that was last week...hope you all had a good one, and that this week is shaping up to be fantastic too!

My first day!

Tomorrow will be my first day at work since 17th July...I know, I've had a ridiculously long summer holiday, but it's not all my fault...as a supply teacher, I can only work if another teacher is off and you don't tend to get many staff absences at the beginning of the school year!

Anyway...I know which school I'm going to and how to get to it and I know what time I'll get up in the morning and what time I'll set off for work. I know which year group I'll be taking and I've got a pretty good idea of what activities I'll do with them if work hasn't already been set. I've brushed up on my classroom management strategies and my bag is pretty much packed. The only things left to do are decide on my outfit and set my alarm. I should be feeling really confident...but I'm not. Instead I can feel my nerves jangling as I run through worst case scenarios in my head. What if my classroom management doesn't work? What if I can't find any resources in the classroom? What if the work I've prepared goes down like a lead balloon? What if they're simply the class from hell? I know that probably none of these will be true, but it doesn't stop me worrying :-(

First days...don't you just love 'em?!

Quarter-life Crisis! :-(

My name's Julie and I'm suffering from a quarter-life crisis. I've suspected it for a while, and I suppose the best thing to do is just get it down in writing so I can begin to work through it.

My first problem is the lack of a meaningful relationship in my life over the past few years. At the start of my 20s, I was engaged, living with my fiance in our own house and I thought my future was all mapped out. Now in my mid 20s, I'm a long term singleton and it feels like my dreams of marriage and babies by the time I'm 30 are getting further and further away. It also doesn't help that I feel less mature now than I did when I was in my late teens/early 20s! It's not that I don't love having the freedom to do what I want, whenever I want and the knowledge that I only have to look out for Number One, because this is a part of singledom I have really come to appreciate...but I just feel like I'm drifting somehow and that my life, although fun, and even fulfilling, at times, doesn't really have much meaning at the moment. I look at people I know (and bloggers!) who are settled and/or have children and I yearn to be in their shoes. I worry that my years on my own have made me too selfish and too picky and that there will never be anyone who meets up to the image of the man I have in my mind. Although I dislike being single, I have been this way for so long that it has become strangely comforting and I think that the man who makes me want to let go of my security blanket will have to be pretty special.

Secondly, and in a related-ish vein to the previous paragraph, is the fact that I am still living at home with my parents and siblings. I love my family dearly, although I often find myself snapping at them (especially my Mum) and being resentful when they ask me to do even minor things. I don't know if this is because I feel that I'm an adult and I should be able to live my own life without interference, but it's not right. I used to have a fantastic relationship with my Mum, and I don't want it to be ruined by my petty moaning. I know I should be grateful for the million and one things my Mum and Dad do for me...washing, ironing, cooking my meals, acting as my taxi service etc , etc, especially as I disliked housework when I lived in my own place, but I can honestly say that I normally forget how lucky I am. Due to my job situation (which will be explained in the next paragraph), I am unable to even consider moving out of home yet and this also frustrates me. I think that even if I had the slightest possibility of being able to move out in the next few years, I would feel like my life was moving in the right direction.

Third, and finally, is my job situation. Since about the age of 14, all I ever wanted to be was a primary school teacher. To be on the safe side however, I did a non teaching degree and studied for a BA in Language, Literacy and Communication, which I then followed up with post grad primary teacher training. The year I spent doing my teacher training was honestly one of the hardest, but most fulfilling, years of my life and I went through it really looking forward to the next stage in my career. Then the problems started. Despite the fact that the country is apparently crying out for teachers, it isn't crying out for female primary teachers in the North West! I qualified over 2 years ago and still haven't had a job that has lasted longer than a term and a half. My time has been spent doing a mix of day-to-day and pre-booked supply (substitute) teaching and a maternity cover (the term and a half) where I was employed by the local authority. There are some things I love about supply...the fact I don't have to stay behind for parents' evenings or staff meetings, the opportunity to go to new schools, meet new people and try new things, no evenings or weekends spent planning and preparing resources, having the freedom to say no to work if I feel ill, don't like the school/age group or simply just can't be bothered! But this isn't why I went into teaching. I entered the profession so I could become an excellent teacher, so I could build a relationship with a group of children and hopefully be able to make a difference to them, maybe even give them something that would stay with them for the rest of their lives. Supply teaching allows me none of this, and in addition, I never know how much work I am going to get over a given period of time, meaning it would be impossible for me to get a mortgage as I would be unable to say how much money I would have left at the end of it. I often walk away from classrooms feeling like I am a bad teacher and my continued job search only serves to reinforce this suspicion, leaving me demotivated and demoralised. Since I qualified, there have been two further classes of NQTs entering the job market, so there is even more competition for the few jobs that are out there. At the moment, I am not in a position to relocate to an area where there are more vacancies, so I guess it's almost a vicious circle. Phew...and breathe!

Anyway, enough of the ranting! I suppose people reading this may see me as a spoilt and self indulgent 20something with no real problems and they may well be right. But they're real enough to me, even though they are probably mere inconveniences in the grand scheme of things, and so I need to do something about them. So what am I doing? Well, firstly, I've written this down. It's nice to know I can vent in (relative) anonymity and it has helped to clear my head, even if I am feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. Secondly, I am making changes in my life, even if they are quite minor. I have joined a dating website. I'm not sure if I'm in the mood for dating right now, but it's nice to know the possibility is there. I'm taking driving lessons, and hope to pass my test by the end of the year. Not only will this give me some of the independence I crave,but it will also mean I can cast my net a little wider when job hunting as I'll be able to get to so many more places without having to rely on public transport. I'm taking opportunities to go on free professional development courses. These will obviously be personally beneficial to me, but also will hopefully also enhance my CV/application forms and give them a bit of an edge. Finally, I think I should start making a list of things I'm thankful for...which will make these problems seem less important. I'll kick off with 5 for now:

1. My fantastic family and friends - love you all!
2. My good health (even if I do have a cold at the moment)
3. My fabulous new netbook...my optimism on Monday was well founded!
4. My intelligence...I'm not being bigheaded but my brain has opened quite a few doors for me.
5. Blogging...I'm really enjoying writing, and am especially happy today as I've been approved as a member of 20something bloggers!

And that's finally it for now...definitely the longest post I've ever written, and probably the most heartfelt too!

Midweek slump...

Maybe it's just because I'm coming towards the end of a tiring and busy school year. Or because I'm trying to do too many job applications at once, and stressing myself out. Or it's the fact that I can never get to bed early enough. Or maybe it's just all 3!! Whatever it is, I'm officially in a slump and I can't believe it's still only Wednesday night. I do know there's people who have to juggle far more than me; I'm not the worst off by any means but I'm still feeling a little bit sorry for myself and I just need to vent!

On the other hand, it's hopefully looking up a bit from here. I'm not working tomorrow morning or at all on Friday, so I should be able to have a bit more rest and have extra time to tackle the dreaded applications too! Fingers crossed that I'll be feeling a little more human then! Rant over... for now! ;-)