30 before 30: An Update

So do you remember my 30 before 30 list that I posted a few months back? Well, whether the answer's yes or no, I thought that now that I've started blogging again, it would be a perfect time to update you a little on my progress. So, just over four and a half months in, here's how I'm doing so far:

7.  Have a ruthless clear out of my wardrobes and drawers - I've made a start on this, having cleared out one chest of drawers so far and am going to be doing the rest over the summer, so I can make room for all the piles of clothes I've got mounting up, plus potentially a few new buys too.

9.  Read at least 24 new books (2 per month) - whilst this goal may now prove to be overly ambitious, unless I get a major spurt on for the rest of the year, I have read 3 new books since my 29th (Unsuitable Men by Pippa Wright, The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey and Death by Honeymoon by Jaden Skye) and have almost finished The Great Gatsby too. Over the past couple of weeks, I've definitely been getting the urge to read more too, so it'll be interesting to see how close I can get to my original target.

10. Bake at least twice a month - I'm pretty sure I haven't achieved this goal every month, although I haven't really been keeping track as well as I should, but know that I definitely did hit the target in May, as I made Nanaimo bars, chocolate chip cookies and gingerbread over the space of 2 weekends. Hopefully I can stay in the baking habit for the rest of the year now!

11. Try 10 new recipes - I'm on 2 so far; the Nanaimo bars and the chocolate chip cookies I made last month were both things I'd tried for the first time. Look out for the recipes soon!

21. Watch at least 10 new (to me) films (to include at least 1 Tarantino) - I think I'm definitely well on track with this one! :-) At the cinema, I've seen Django Unchained (so I can say I've watched a Tarantino too!), Lincoln, Les Miserables and Iron Man 3 and I know for a fact that there's a few more films that I definitely want to try and catch in the weeks and months ahead too. Add to that the films I've watched on DVD/Netflix (I definitely remember Taken and most of Star Trek), and I think I may even have to set a higher target!

24. Start taking part in quizzes again - I've been part of a quiz team on 2 occasions since I created my list, both times on charity quiz nights with work and I've really enjoyed it. My next step is definitely to find a quiz night that I can start taking part in with (some of) my friends.

And that's pretty much it so far. Well, apart from one other goal which was really my number one priority for the year, and is something that I'm over the moon to have achieved, especially so early on in the year. I am so pleased to say that I've been able to tick the following goal off my list:

1. Get a new job!! - I am so happy about the fact I've achieved this, I really can't quite put it into words! Whilst I'm still in my old job at the moment, come September I'll be taking up my new post as graduate library assistant at one of Manchester's universities. Taking the leap to work in libraries is something that I have been considering for years, off and on, and I am thrilled that I'll finally have the opportunity to make my dream a reality. Whilst I'll only be employed on a year's fixed term contract, the job offer was too good a prospect to dismiss and I'm so looking forward to what the new chapter (sorry - but that pun was totally intended! ;-) ) of my working life may hold.

Sorry, but I couldn't resist saving the best for last! And now that really is all for now, but I'd be thrilled to hear from any of you, as always. Anything big happening in your life at the mo? Any goals that you've recently made/met, be they big or small? If so, just let me know!

'Til next time...

10 Things...my new job has taught me.

I'm back! Even if it has taken me 6 weeks longer than I promised (but I'm going to choose to ignore that!). Seriously, this new job has taken over my life in a way that I really hadn't considered before I started it; I've even had dreams about it for goodness' sake!! But in the midst of all this craziness, I've been learning. Not just about the policies, systems and procedures that come as part and parcel of my role, but also about what working full time is really like (I've not done it for ages, don't judge!) and even more about myself as an individual. And as a little gentle intro into blogging again, I'd thought I'd share a few of these discoveries with you. Some are serious, others a little more tongue in cheek, but valid all the same.

1. It seems that whatever job I take on, I will always be a worrier. I'm always going to get stressed and think that I'm terrible at what I'm doing. I have my fingers crossed that this will subside with time, and take at least a little comfort from the fact that the customers I'm dealing with can't see me panicking!
2. It is possible to be completely exhausted by doing seemingly no more than sitting staring at a screen all day. And in the same vein, it is not beyond the realms of possibility to be falling asleep before 9:00 PM.
3. A full time job can render a person seemingly incapable of blogging and checking emails for a very long time. Well, in my case anyway!
4. Payday is the best day of the month, bar none. And if it should happen to fall on your last day of work before some time off, then all the better!!
5. Never have your lunch outside on a beautifully warm and sunny day; you won't want to go back inside to work. Ever.
6. The days you get off work are so much more precious when you don't have that many off them.
7. The people who work in call centres are so much more diverse than I ever would have thought. From teenagers fresh out of college to middle aged men and women seeking a career change plus young graduates in the fields of architecture, American studies and law, to name just 3. A random mix of people, with one thing in common.
8. My wardrobe is even larger than I would have given it credit for. Over the last (almost) 7 weeks, I have been able to wear something different practically every day. Despite this, however, shopping is definitely still the first thing on my mind come payday.
9. And whilst we're on the subject of clothes; picking an outfit for a "normal" work day: generally pretty straightforward. Selecting something to wear for "dress down" day: so much harder!!
10. The job of the communications manager seems to be nothing more than sitting around and sending emails. This may or may not be one of the reasons why I want her post for myself!!  ;-)

And there it is. Keep your eyes peeled for another blog post soon (ish!) It may be 2 days, it could be 2 months (but hopefully not the latter!!)

'Til next time...

August so far...my highs and lows

Once again, it's been a couple of weeks since my last post...I really don't know where the time goes! I haven't just been sat there doing nothing though, there's been plenty, both bad and good, to keep me busy and those things are exactly what I'm going to share with you today.

Highs

• Exciting baby news: One of my closest friends (I'll call her the "Animal Lover")announced last week that she was expecting her first baby, who's due in late February/early March. It was a lovely surprise and I'm overjoyed for both her and her boyfriend ("The Biker"). I just can't wait until there's another baby in the group to spoil!

• Housewarming fun: In keeping with the major life changes theme, two of my friends (The Comedian and The Enigma) have recently bought their first home together and a couple of Saturdays ago, I spent the evening at their housewarming barbecue. It was just a wonderful night filled with fabulous food (including more crisps on one table than I'd ever seen before!), random conversations and Kinect fun and I hope that we'll be able to do it all over again very soon.

• Adding another recipe to my tried and tested favourites: Unsure of what to give the friends mentioned above as a housewarming present (they'd already been living together previously and I had no idea of what they wanted/needed), I decided to bake something and buy a pretty tin to put it in. My flavour of choice was chocolate...I didn't actually know what the couple liked, but reasoned that everyone loves chocolate! My first thought was brownies, but having never made them before, I decided not to risk an untested recipe. Then I remembered the chocolate cake recipe from the Australian Women's Weekly Complete Book of Cupcakes and Baking (I've tried and failed to find a link to this book on the net...if you want this recipe, let me know and I'll post it on here/email you) and I was pretty sure I was on to a winner. First off, my sister had made it before for a friend who had said it was gorgeous and secondly, all the recipes in the book are triple tested, so are pretty much guaranteed to work :-). And work it did...I divided the mixture into bun cases so I would have some cakes for my friends and some for home, and they were enjoyed by all! My mum said they were one of the best things I'd ever made, a friend of a friend said they were fantastic and I received a lovely text off the Enigma the next day saying how much she and her fiancé the Comedian had enjoyed them. I just love baking and it makes me even happier when people close to me can enjoy it too :-)

• Fantastic friends on Facebook: Last week I received some very good news of my own and when I shared it on Facebook, I was overwhelmed with the support and good wishes I received from my friends. From people of my own age, but also of my parents' generation. From friends who I had seen just the day before, to those who I hadn't seen for years. From old school friends to people I've met much more recently. The congratulations flooded in from all directions, and to say I was touched was an understatement. Sometimes when I'm feeling low I tell myself that no-one cares about me or takes notice of what I have to say, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that's not true. I am loved and cared about more than I've ever realised and that makes me feel incredibly thankful.

And now on to my big news of the last couple of weeks:

I have a new job!! Remember my last post where I alluded to some big changes that might be happening in my work life? Well, it turns out that it was more relevant than I ever thought possible. The day after publishing that post, I received a text from a major banking group that I had previously done an online application for asking me to call their recruitment centre for a telephone interview. I did so and answered 3 mental arithmetic questions and a couple of competency based questions, as well as discussing my recent work history with a very nice man, and was pleased when he announced that I had made it through to the next stage aka the face to face interview, which I booked for last Wednesday. I spent quite a bit of time preparing for the interview and felt I did OK. I wasn't, however, overly confident, partly because I've stumbled at this stage so many times before and partly because I kept analysing my responses to the questions over and over and came up with more and more things I felt I could have done better. I'd been told that it could take up to 10 working days to be informed of the outcome and so I settled down to a long wait for the seemingly inevitable. Imagine my surprise then when I received a phone call from the company explaining that they had managed to get things fast tracked through HR and they were pleased to tell me that I'd been successful!! I won't go into too many details here, as I really feel that the job deserves a post of its own, but I can tell you I'm going to be starting on 19th September, and am really looking forward to this new challenge!! :-)

Lows

• Riots in Greater Manchester (as well as nationwide): Last week there was some of the worst rioting and looting that has ever been seen in England and whilst it was mainly centred around London, on Tuesday last week it also hit Salford and Manchester city centre, only a matter of miles from where I live. The pictures on the TV and news feeds on the internet didn't seem quite real and I was shocked at some of the stories I was reading. An Oxfam shop being looted. A Miss Selfridge shop and a housing office being set on fire. People smashing windows and forcing shutters. None of it really hit home until the next day when I was walking in the centre of town and saw the damage with my own eyes. I just couldn't believe that people could do that to their own city. But as in all of the other places affected by last week's unrest, the community has pulled together and become stronger as a result. On Wednesday morning, for example, as I walked through town after my interview I saw groups of young people wearing protective gloves and armed with rubbish bags all ready to part in the clear up. And today, whilst my sister Amy and I were shopping in Manchester we saw this:

Image taken from here

It's the Manchester Peace Wall, and in the few days since this photo was taken, it's become absolutely filled with post-it notes expressing people's love for the city as well as disgust at the looters and their actions. Amy and I both wrote our own notes and stuck them on the wall, and I just feel really privileged to contribute to such a powerful representation of Manchester's spirit.

• Unexpected work developments and lack of money: News of my new job couldn't have come at a better time as, due to lack of funding, I had to finish my previous job a few weeks earlier than anticipated. I'm going to really have to tighten my belt over the next couple of months or so, and when I consider the number of friends' birthdays that are coming up, it's going to be easier said than done! I'm trying to look on the bright side though...at least I'm still living at home so there are no major bills to pay  and I can also have fun finding low-cost ways to enjoy myself! :-)

And that's all for now. Till next time...

From dreams to reality...

In my most vivid dream last night I was pregnant. And I was absolutely overjoyed. There was a constant stream of happiness bubbling up inside me which threatened to spill out if someone so much as congratulated me on my fantastic news. Hell, I didn't even care when I felt nauseous, so ecstatic was I about the new life growing inside of me. And then I woke up...no baby, no happiness or excitement. Instead I felt bereft, empty. Despite the fact that I'm not actually in any position to have children at this point in my life and I enjoy the sense of freedom and lack of responsibility that being single with no dependants gives me, there it was. A feeling of loneliness and emptiness that, truth be told, is to a certain degree still lingering over 12 hours on.


But this post isn't really about my dream, it's more about my reality...my life today. You see, as someone who is quite into dream meanings and interpretations, one of my first instincts was to try to decipher what my pregnancy dream meant; how it translated into my real life. Now, the night before I had read the happy news that one of my Facebook friends was expecting and I had spent some time looking at some photos of my friend's gorgeous boys, so there's no doubt that these events may have had an influence on the content of my dream. However, I've done these things before and have never dreamed so vividly about pregnancy. I also see news of friends getting engaged and/or married on a regular basis these days and I could probably count on one hand the number of wedding dreams I've had. To put it simply, I was convinced there was some deeper meaning so off I set to look it up. And this is what I found:

To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal. 

Thanks Dream Moods Dictionary!!

It's safe to say that this interpretation definitely resonates with me. My life seems like it's at a crossroads right now and I may well head in a direction that I never would have expected. I've been actively searching for a new job and have come to the conclusion that it may not be in education. And most of the time, I'm ok with that. In fact, there are times when I'm more than ok, as I relish the prospect of new challenges and the opportunity to explore skills and interests that have been put aside in my current job. There are also a number of projects that I'm making a start on. Yesterday and today, I made the first steps in decluttering, organising and tidying my room and I intend for this to be a major and long lasting change. I've updated the photos on my online dating profile and as soon I get time in between working, tidying and job hunting, I'll hopefully start dating again. And after a pair of jeans failed to fit me the other night, it's also my goal to eat more healthily and do more exercise!!

So even though my dream left me feeling sad, I'm aiming to take only positive things from it. I may not be pregnant yet, but I don't want to be right now. There's time enough for that ahead. Instead, I'll think about the new opportunities that are presenting themselves to me and the positive changes I'm making. For now, the growing and developing is about me and my babies are the projects, goals and ideas I'm making happen!! :-)

'Til next time...xx

Last week's Highs and Lows

Yes, I know it's Wednesday and we're nearly half way through this week already, but I'm really aiming to make my "Highs and Lows" posts a regular series again, so I'm starting as I mean to go on! Better late than never, that's my motto!

And so on to last week...there were a few seemingly small, yet meaningful highs mixed with a couple of definite lows but, most importantly, it was a positive one overall and I ended it looking forward to the week ahead :-) . So without further ado, here's what had me beaming from ear to ear or down in the dumps last week:

Highs

• Finding £60 I'd forgotten I had: I was looking for something,opened one of drawers and bam...there it was! A quick check with my mum later, and I established that it was definitely mine to keep spend. :-) Exactly what I needed in these tight financial times!

• A couple of shorter (and quieter) afternoons at work: Last week, the 5 year old boy I act as support worker for had a couple of taster sessions at the school he'll be starting in September. And as his support worker, I accompanied him. The upshot of this was a happy little boy...he loved joining in with all the activities the school had to offer and was really keen to get on well with both his new classmates and the staff working there, as well as a very happy Julie! My afternoons were pretty much stress free due to his excellent behaviour (a radical departure from some days at the nursery) and the fact that I only worked half my usual hours for the two days, but was still paid for the full afternoon each time, made them even sweeter. A definite high in my book.

• Midweek curry night and making winter plans with friends: Last Wednesday night, a few friends and I headed to our local pub for their curry night...curry with all the sides plus a free drink for a bargain price and I'm definitely in! We ate, we drank and also made tentative plans for the winter weekend away I discussed in this post. All in all, it was a lovely relaxing night, perfect for recharging our batteries midweek, and something that I hope we'll repeat sooner rather than later.

• Baking for the first time in AGES: Over the last couple of months, my weekends have been so filled with job applications and other things to get done that any plans to bake have fallen right by the wayside. But last Saturday, with no job applications imminent, I decided to get my baking head on and made 2 batches of flapjacks; one with sultanas and cherries and the other with chocolate chips. Both were delicious (if I do say so myself!) although I don't think I added quite enough liquid to the choc chip batch as they ended up harder and more crunchy than the fruit ones; they kind of reminded of Nature Valley bars. Very tasty, but not so good for your teeth!

• Spending time with the cutest class ever: Last Friday, I had a job interview and whilst I was at the school I had the opportunity to meet one of the classes. And oh my gosh, they were amongst the sweetest children I had ever met. Bright, friendly and full of fun, they had a knack of making me feel instantly at ease and I absolutely adored the time I spent with them. Plus I walked away with a number of pictures they'd made for me, which is always a reliable measure of a good day at school in my book!

• A couple of long lie ins: Whilst I don't have to get up too early for work in the week, I do have to set my alarm so I really appreciated just being able to sleep until the time nature intended last weekend. After 9:30? Don't mind if I do!

Lows

• Not getting the job: Before last Friday, I'd had 2 other job interviews this year. I was unsuccessful on both occasions, and whilst the rejection stung, I wasn't overly upset, probably because I wasn't 100% sure that the jobs or schools were right for me. Friday was different. I really wanted the job. Then I went to the school, met the children and wanted it even more. Everything just seemed to fit: the role I'd be taking on, the ethos of the school, the welcoming attitudes of everyone I met plus the fact that I thought my interview had gone reasonably well. And then I got the call (well, actually the answerphone message as I was working at the time the headteacher rang): I hadn't got it. And let me tell you, it hurt. It hurt like hell. I'd wanted it so badly and there was nothing I could do. Except cry and feel like a massive failure (which I did). And then I dusted myself down and waited for feedback (I'm still waiting now). And so the job hunting starts again...

• My grandad going into hospital: My grandad has been in and out of the hospital over the past week and a half or so. Nothing major but after 3 hospital trips in 4 days, mainly due to minor falls, they decided to keep in him for a few days whilst they worked on his mobility. He finally came out of hospital today, and fingers crossed that, with his new mobility aids and a few adjustments that have been made at his home, he won't be making a return journey any time soon :-)

And that's pretty much it! Hope you're having a good week so far...I'm already thinking of things that can go on my next highs and lows list!!

'Til next time...

Oh hi, July!!

If you'd asked me after my last post how long it'd be before I blogged again, I probably would have said a few days. Maybe even a week or two. But over two months...no way!! But there it is in black and white...my last post was in April and somehow I've resurfaced in July! Now at this point I'd normally apologise for being away for so long and say that it'll never happen again. But this time's going to be a little different. For one, I guess that endless apologies are probably pretty boring to read and two...well, my blogging history suggests that I will disappear again at some point! So this time I'm not apologising, but I am going to fill you in on what I've been up to...

• I've booked and been on a wonderful holiday to Lanzarote with my friend E (aka "The Performer"). It was my first holiday for 2 years and I was really glad of the break. The weather was perfect and the island amazing. I spent my days lazing by the pool and mooching round the shops and my nights sipping cocktails at local bars or drinking wine on our apartment terrace. I returned home with lots of happy memories, probably the best tan I've ever got and possibly a few pounds heavier and I hope to be able to do it all over again, preferably sooner rather than later!!

• Whilst on holiday, I also had some amazing experiences that were a little out of the ordinary. I visited the amazing Timanfaya National Park, rode a camel, tasted local wine and, best of all, went snorkelling! Now as for someone who professes not to like deep water, I suppose I was a little out of my comfort zone (about 5 metres to be exact!) but once I remembered to breathe, it was the most fantastic experience. The fish were beautiful and watching them was so calming...I felt really serene, almost like a mermaid and I definitely want to repeat the experience :-).

• I've kept my job hunting up, albeit with limited success. I have had 2 interviews, both of which I found out about on the same day (seriously, they're like buses!) but unfortunately I failed to secure either post. To be honest, jobs are starting to really dry up now, so if I don't get one in the next couple of weeks, I doubt that I'll know where I'll be come September, but at least I have my nursery job to tide me over. I've still been working part time at the nursery where I started in February and, unlike schools, it's open pretty much year round meaning that at least I'll still be earning in the summer holidays which makes a very welcome change! Unfortunately, it looks like I'll be moving on at the start of the new school year as the child I'm employed to support is starting primary school, but a girl can't have everything I suppose! In other job related news, I finally got to say a proper goodbye to the staff at my last school...it was lovely catching up with everyone and I was surprised and very moved to discover that they'd bought me cards and all clubbed together to buy me a £30 giftcard for Next, which is one of my favourite clothing retailers (after Primark of course!)

• I've had 2 driving tests, which I've failed, and I'm awaiting my third! I'm intermittently taking driving lessons in between times (they're just too expensive to have every week :-( ) and I'm hoping that it'll be third time lucky for me...my bank balance can't really take much more!!

• I've performed in one musical revue with my drama group and I'm now well into rehearsals for our next. We start choreography for the first act tomorrow...it'll be nothing too complicated but, as I'm not a dancer, wish me luck anyway!

• I've spent many more wonderful times with my family and friends. There's been a wedding, a christening, a royal wedding barbecue and drinks in the sunshine as well as multiple meals, nights in and out and general gatherings. Words really can't express how much these people mean to me, they make even the worst times seem not quite as awful and I really am blessed to have each and every one of them!! :-)

And that's pretty much it! I was going to finish up by posting a list of things I'm looking forward to this summer and/or my summer goals, but I'm already at the risk of turning this into a real essay, so they're just going to have to wait a little longer!!

Till next time...

Hello/Goodbye...

I think this picture says it all...don't you?? It's been over 4 months since I've last posted, and that time has been simply filled with "hellos" and "goodbyes". I've met new people and experienced some things for the very first time, whilst saying farewell to others. But throughout all this I've been busy, and that's one of the reasons that my blog break has gone on for quite so long...I knew that before I started blogging again, I wanted to be in a position where I would have time to post regularly and catch up on all my favourite reads. And that time is now. But before I say "Hello" to this new chapter in my blogging adventures, I'd like to bid farewell to the past few months and all it's brought me. So without further ado, here goes:

• Since the start of November, I've said "Hello" to 3 jobs and also "Goodbye" to two of them. One I was quite relieved to see the back of (although I do miss the fabulous staff discount!) but the thought of coming to the end of my contract at the other has filled me with sadness (especially as ill health made it seem even more unfinished...more on that later).
• As a result of the increased demands on my time that my jobs brought me, I said goodbye to quite as much free time and hello to evening and weekend schoolwork.
• Since my blog break began, I've said goodbye 2010 with a fantastic family Christmas and hello 2011 with a house party in Wales along with some of my closest friends.  I've also said goodbye to 26 and my mid-twenties and hello to 27 and my lates (eeeeeeeeeek!) and despite being older and technically wiser, I managed to accompany my first day as a 27 year old with a stinking hangover and churning stomach (which was especially irresponsible considering I was acting in my drama group's panto that day!) As well as my birthday, I've also helped several of my friends and family members welcome their new ages and I've had an absolute ball helping them celebrate :-)
• I said "hello" and "goodbye" to my drama group's pantomime which took place in late January, and apart from the pre-show nerves, and terrible hangover on my first day, I loved every minute of it. And, a few weeks later, I said "hello" to a new show which we'll be putting on in May.
• I said "goodbye" to one driving instructor and "hello" to another. I'll also hopefully be saying goodbye to my "L" plates for good in a few weeks...fingers crossed!!
• My wardrobe has also said hello to a fair few items of clothing, as well as some gorgeous new shoes and accessories. As for goodbyes, there haven't been quite as many...well, what can I say?? I'm a hoarder!

And finally, I said goodbye to my 100% attendance record for this school year. At the back end of last week, the left hand side of my face started feeling painful. Fast forward to Tuesday morning at work, and my colleagues noticed it was swollen. One emergency doctor's appointment later, I've been diagnosed with suspected mumps (the doc was almost 100% sure) and I've been signed off work for up to 3 weeks! The most frustrating thing is that I was due to be finishing one of my jobs this Friday anyway...the spring holiday is coming up and the school I've been working at for 5 months can't afford to keep me on after that because of their limited budget :-( So bang've gone my visions of saying a proper goodbye to the staff, who I've loved working with, and throwing a party for all the children in my groups...and I've said hello to an aching face and hamster cheeks! Plus not to mention the fact that I'm most likely highly contagious , which means no "Ghost the Musical" tonight and probably no friend's hen do on Saturday :-( 

But, I'll stop moaning now, as I want to end the post on a high. Because I'm back, at the right time for me, and I can't wait to get back into blogging again :-)

Till next time...

Julie xx

Has it really been a month...

since my last post?? Well, apparently so...although I can't quite believe it. But then again, when I think about what a whirlwind it's been, maybe I can!

So what's been making me so busy? Well, if you'd noticed my last post you might have a bit of an inkling...remember those two job opportunities that I mentioned? Well, I got them both! During the space of 24 hours, I went from having no job to having two. And I've been working my ass off ever since (well most of the time anyway!!) I'm now employed as a teacher every weekday morning, when I work with groups of 7-11 year olds who are struggling with maths and literacy. And then I also work as a sales assistant 2 evenings a week. So it's been a big change for me, but one which I'm loving so far, even if I am finding it hard to adjust to the fact that my evenings and weekends aren't always my own anymore! I could go on and on about my new teaching opportunity, and suffice to say, I'll probably dedicate a whole post to that pretty soon...but as for now, I think it's time to move on.

Even though work has been a major part of my life over the past month, I have found some time for myself and I can safely say that I've valued every minute of it! Here's some of the things I've got up to:

• Christmas Shopping: I can't believe how quickly Christmas is coming up...it'll be here in less than 5 weeks!! And as of just a week ago I was almost completely unprepared, having bought very few presents...but now, thanks to a lot of online shopping and a couple of afternoon shopping trips, I feel much happier about things. I'm not totally sorted by any means but I'm getting there!
• Sharing in Birthday celebrations with family and friends: October and November are busy months for me in terms of birthdays, and I've really enjoyed catching up with family and friends and celebrating together. I've indulged in a Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet for my friend N's birthday and a delicious pub lunch for my Grandad's 91st! I enjoyed an evening of comedy and cocktails (only one...it was a school night!) for my friend E's 27th and made a mad dash across town after work to celebrate my friend D's special day. All were special in very different ways, and I can't wait for the next big event :-)
• Buying tickets: Whilst spending almost 5 hours trying to book concert tickets isn't much fun, I'm so glad that I (and my sisters) did. Because, as a result of our perseverance, stubbornness and downright craziness (on my part at least!), two of my best girl friends and I will be going to see Take That in June next year!! Although I wasn't particularly a fan of them the first time around, since they've got back together I've developed a new found love for them and that coupled with the fact they've got a reputation for putting on incredible live show made me determined to get tickets no matter what!
• Just chilling: Whether it's with a mini bottle of wine and Saturday night TV, or checking Facebook and my favourite blogs in a break from work, I've been loving those precious moments of doing nothing much.

And with that, I'm signing off. Bedtime isn't far away as I've got a 6:45 am alarm call in the morning, and I'm determined that tonight isn't going to be a late one.

Till next time...

Highs and Lows of October so far

After yet another absence from the blogging world, here I am again!! In some ways, it seems like I've done nothing this October; supply work seems to have dried up (for the moment at least) and I've spent the majority of my days staying at home. But when I actually stop and look back on the month so far, it doesn't seem like quite so much of a non-event after all. There have certainly been plenty of highs (and a few lows) that have made this month a memorable one anyway. And, without further ado, here we are:

Highs

• Almost 2 weeks ago now, my friends N and M welcomed their second child into the world :-) He's a boy, his first name begins with J and he's an absolutely adorable addition to their little family!! I've so enjoyed being a part of his older brother H's life and watching him grow up and I can't wait to do it all again with little J!!

• After over a month and a half of (sometimes) serious job hunting and a very definite lack of supply work which saw me becoming very disillusioned and hating the situation I found myself in, there is now the definite possibility of a light at the end of the tunnel. You see, yesterday I found myself in the extremely privileged position of being contacted about not just one job opportunity but two!! I'm not going to go into too much detail at the moment but I'm just so relieved that things seem to be going my way at last. My finances are starting to become a bit of a worry, especially with Christmas and quite a few birthdays coming up, so if I get even one of these jobs (they're both part time), it would be a major load off my mind :-)

• Right at the start of the month I was thrilled to get a part in my drama group's pantomime!! In January, we'll be staging Aladdin and I'll be playing the Spirit of the Ring (insert your own jokes here...the rest of the cast has!!). It's not the part I auditioned for, but I actually prefer this one anyway (there's no solo singing, which I'm very happy about :-) ) And, as long time readers of my blog will know, I was really disappointed not to be successful at last year's panto auditions, so to get any part is just a dream come true!! Initial readthroughs of the script have been a blast, and I'm really looking forward to more rehearsals and getting to spend more time with our amazing cast.

• And continuing on the dramatic theme...I went to the theatre a couple of weeks ago and saw the most amazing performance of "A Streetcar Named Desire". Having never seen or read the play before, or watched the film, I didn't really know what to expect but I was absolutely blown away. All the performances were top notch, and the three hours plus running time simply flew by; definitely an experience not to miss!!

• Spending more time with friends...what with the birth of Baby J, 2 birthdays over the past few days and another one coming up fast and numerous TV/DVD nights, I'm getting to spend some much needed quality time with my friends. And after all the "likes" I got on my new Facebook status regarding my job prospects, I'm once again reminded of just how great they are :-)

• Lovely October weather...be it unseasonably warm, or cold and crisp, there have been some beautiful sunny days which have been just perfect for walking in

• Autumn baking...I've tried out a couple of new recipes, both featuring apples and a subtle taste of spice (just perfect for this autumn weather!!) and I've got more up my sleeve for over the next couple of weeks...I'm thinking Halloween cookies, something involving pumpkin and sticky parkin. Oh, and I'm seriously thinking about starting a baking blog. What do you reckon??

• Up...I was introduced to this film last weekend by one of my girl friends and I'm in love. It's seriously one of the most beautiful, funny and moving films I've ever seen and I'm hooked. Even if it did make me cry more than most other films ever have. Seriously, I was crying like a baby!! But I still love it, and I need a copy in my life, like now!!

Lows

• Receiving some negative (and I feel pretty unwarranted) feedback from a school I worked at...again I don't want to go into detail, but there were two main issues which were raised. One which, in hindsight, I maybe could have handled slightly differently, although I feel like I was very much manipulated by the headteacher and placed in a situation in which it was very difficult for me to act appropriately. And then two, which I completely dispute and feel like it almost amounted to a personal attack, as opposed to a constructive criticism of my teaching.

• Lack of work and money and what feels like endless hours of job hunting: As I mentioned before, this has really got me down over the past few weeks although, fingers crossed, I'll hopefully have some good news on this front soon!! Tomorrow's looking to be a red letter day...I'm making a phone call to one of the possible employers tomorrow morning to find out more details about that job and I have an interview for the other post tomorrow afternoon. Fingers crossed the outcomes are positive!!

And that's all for now. Hope everyone else is having a good month...I've got so many of your blogs to catch up on!! Till next time...

I hate job hunting!!

It's taking over my life, hence my disappearance from the blogging world over the last couple of weeks or so, yet I still don't seem to be getting anywhere. It really does suck!! Part of my problem is that I really don't know what kind of job I'm looking for. All I know is that I need money and fast, as I've been out of work for two and a half months now. There hasn't really been any supply work at all since the schools went back in September, and even if I really enjoyed being a supply teacher (which I don't), I can't really afford to sit back and just wait for supply bookings to come in any more. So I've been applying for whatever I can find: temporary Christmas sales assistant posts and administration and customer service roles with quick start dates to name just two categories. But so far, no joy.

And as for the long term, well I really don't know. I'm not sure if teaching really is for me...my confidence and faith in my abilities have been shot by a combination of my inability to secure a long term post and some less than pleasurable supply experiences. As a result, I'm reluctant to apply for any teaching posts and am stuck not knowing where my heart really lies. My doubts about teaching are compounded by the fact that I disliked supply teaching a lot of the time; but then again, there were other days when I loved it and felt truly in control of things.

And then as for other posts...well, I have a degree, a postgraduate certificate and quite a substantial work history, and have been told that my CV is strong, but I'm not actually qualified to do much. I suppose I have as much chance of any graduate of getting a generic graduate job which doesn't need a specific degree, but most of those appear to either be recruitment consulting or sales. Both heavily money motivated and requiring lots of sales calls (including cold calling), these really aren't for me. I'd prefer to work in a slightly less pressured environment, where my success isn't measured in material terms, but rather in terms of the positive effect I've been able to have on others. Then I've also looked at graduate training schemes, and the majority of these seem to suffer from 1 or more of these 3 main problems: one, they have a September 2011 start date (so would only be OK if I could secure another job which could support me up until then), two, they're in sectors that don't appeal to me such as accountancy or consultancy and as graduate schemes last for an average of 2 years, it'd be a big commitment to something if I wasn't sure and finally, most of them aren't based in areas local to me, and whilst I appreciate the need to be flexible, the vast majority of my family and friends are based in the Manchester area, so I'd feel uneasy leaving the North West unless it was for my dream job. And that's assuming I'd even be accepted onto them; they're notoriously competitive and only account for a small proportion of the total number of graduate jobs available every year.

Ideally, I'd like to be in a post where I could put my background in education to good use: I'd love to have the opportunity to be a librarian or museum education officer, for example, and then I could combine my qualifications with my interest in books or history, but jobs in those sectors are even scarcer than teaching vacancies, and they often require additional qualifications.

So to sum up, at the moment, I'm well and truly confused and it's hard to shake the feeling that my career is going nowhere. But I'm trying to stay hopeful that something will crop up eventually...adopting that resilient attitude which I claim to possess on my CV!! And I'm going to try and be more organised; dedicating different times to different aspects of my job search and keeping detailed records of what I've applied for and the outcome, as well as researching alternative career options that I haven't really considered yet. It all sounds so good written down here, hopefully I'll feel the benefits in real life too!!

Now I don't know when I'll be posting again, hopefully it will be sooner rather than later but I won't be making any rash promises...I know myself better than that by now!! Suppose it all depends how organised I really can be!! And tell me, do you have any job hunting tips?? Did you know what you wanted to do with your life as a young graduate? And how did you find your dream (or current) job?

Till next time...

Just a quickie...

because I think I'm going to go mad if I go any longer without blogging! I can't believe that after managing to blog every day in August, I've now gone nearly two weeks without posting. To put it simply, my absence can be put down to two main reasons: one, my laptop is away being repaired at the moment, and so my sisters and I have been sharing the family PC between us...not ideal at all, especially now K has gone back to school, and Amy has started college and they both need to use a computer for homework. And two, despite being off work myself, I've been really rather busy this week as I've spent the majority of my days jobhunting. I'll explain in more detail in another post, but basically I've come to a point where I really want a steady income. And that means getting a full time job, as opposed to relying on short term supply teaching work. As regular readers of my blog will know, I've been searching for a long term teaching post for over a year and a half now, and have so far been unsuccessful. So I've decided to broaden my horizons, and have recently been applying for jobs in a range of sectors, not just education. As I've said, more details will follow...I just wanted to give a little insight as to where I'm at right now. Fingers crossed that I'll be back to more regular posting quite soon...the girls have bought themselves a new laptop today, so I should have more use of the PC and I'm also determined to get my jobhunting routine a bit more organised, and maybe even draw up a schedule so I can allocate specific blocks of time to it, as I feel that it's all a bit messy at the mo. And I spend far too much time procrastinating, as always!!

Anyway, till next time...

An end...but also a beginning

Yet another couple of weeks has gone by without me blogging, and again I can't believe how long it's actually been since my last post!! I can attribute my absence to two main factors: one, I've been actually rather busy with work the last couple of weeks (it's been quite a surprise given how late on in the school year it is) and two, I've had all kinds of mixed up thoughts, feelings and emotions running through my head lately, and I've not really known how to put them down on 'paper', especially as my mood has been very changeable of late. But now I've come to a decision, albeit a very vague one, I feel it's time to break my silence.

And so to the title of this post...in many ways, I'm currently facing the end of a chapter in my life story. As I've mentioned, it's very nearly the end of the school year. And as things stand, the end of the school year will also bring my time as a supply teacher to a close. Due to circumstances beyond my control (a ridiculous government ruling), newly qualified teachers i.e. me, can only do short term supply for 16 months before completing their induction period (a year/3 terms where NQTs have to demonstrate they meet certain standards and are supported by a teacher mentor at their school). After your 16 months is up (it starts counting down from the very first day you work on short term supply, and doesn't stop...even if you don't work as a supply teacher after that initial day, your 16 months would be up at the same time as someone who had done supply for the duration!!), that's it! No more short term supply (anything less than a term) until your induction's in the bag!! And this puts me in a really tricky position...basically to give you a potted work history, I qualified in June '07, and started doing short term supply from the September of that year. I covered a maternity leave from May to December of 2008, thereby completing a term of my induction, and have been doing short term supply ever since. I found out about the 16 month ruling in September of last year (it's been around for a while but is very rarely flagged up to anyone; I only found out by complete chance), and was able to secure a 3 term extension taking me up to now. Now where I have been unable to secure a long term/permanent teaching post that would let me finish my induction. Now where my teaching career appears to be at an end, momentarily at least. I know that supply teaching wasn't the job I would have chosen in an ideal world...I've been longing for my own classroom and I know that I've definitely had more bad than good experiences of the supply teaching world, but I'm still angry that my teaching career's being taken out of my hands through no fault of my own and there's nothing that I can do about it!!

But with an end also comes a beginning. This hiatus in my teaching means that I'm free to try new things although, for a while, I was at a loss to exactly what they were. Should I try and get a permanent teaching assistant job as the next best thing to teaching? Find some temping work unrelated to teaching? Embark on an altogether new career path by applying for full time jobs outside the education sector (or at least outside school settings)? Go back to uni and work part time to help support myself in the meantime? I considered all of these and more, and have recently come to a decision. My new beginning is hopefully going to be working as a teaching assistant on a supply basis. This has the advantage of still enabling me to work with children, without having all the responsibilty and stress that comes with being a teacher, and it will hopefully allow me to gain more experience of working in the EYFS with the youngest children in the primary age range (3-5 year olds); this is one area I'm currently lacking in and I'm keen to do something about it! Plus I'll still have the flexibility I've come to really value on supply so if I need a day off or get offered a long term post elsewhere I'll be able to take it wothout feeling I'm letting anyone down. Of course, there will also be disadvantages. Pay won't be as good; I'll probably have to work a full week to earn the same wage I'd get for 2 or 3 days of supply teaching, and there's no guarantee that work will be available all the time. Also I'm preparing myself for some awkward questions: Why am I doing TA work when I'm a qualified teacher? How come I've not been able to finish my induction yet when I've been qualified for 3 years? But these are things I'm just going to have to live with. I'm still planning to carry on applying for teaching jobs as I have been doing over the past 18 months so nothing's really changed in that respect, I'll just be filling out slightly different details in the "current employment" box on my applications!! At the moment, I've got a vague idea of giving things another year, but I suppose I'll just wait and see what happens between now and then.

But maybe thinking about September before the school year's even out might be a little premature. After all, there's the summer to think of first. A summer that I plan to spend sleeping in, reading, seeing friends and spending alone time, soaking up the sun (hopefully!), getting out and about but also having some time at home. Time that I'll dedicate to me. Not in a selfish way, but in a useful way. Time that I'll use to plan for the future, time where I can hopefully begin to discover what really makes me tick. At the minute, new ideas are popping up on a regular basis! I'm considering becoming an Avon representative, and am also interested in finding other ways of earning some extra money. Who knows, I might even find something I love so much, I'll know exactly where my future lies! But whether I do or not, I know that I'll have a good summer nonetheless. So here's to a well deserved break (if I do say so myself!!) To happy(ish) endings and new beginnings...I'm going to do my best to make the most of each and every one of them!!

Ring phone, ring!!

Waiting...I hate it. I had a job interview this afternoon, and now I'm sat here hoping that the phone will ring. They've told me if I've got the job I'll hear by 5:00 PM, so with less than an hour to go before the deadline, I'm not feeling optimistic. I don't think my lesson went particularly well, and even though I left the school feeling quite happy with how the interview part went, I don't honestly think I've done enough to get the job overall. I'm already dreading the feedback I've asked them to send me (assuming I will be unsuccessful), and I'm wondering just what I must being doing wrong in these situations. The joys of job hunting, eh?!

Half way...

through my week's holiday, and I seriously don't know where the time's going!! I may get another week off after this, as some of the local authorities don't go back until 14th June, but I don't want to put things off, just in case I don't. Anyway here's a round up of what I've been up to so far:

• Going to rehearsal and then going for a birthday curry for one of my friends in the drama group on Friday night.
• Having a rather chilled Saturday: I visited my Grandad, made a monster batch of Rocky Road with Amy (I doubled up so there was a tray for home and a tray to take to my friends' Eurovision party!), went for a walk, had a gorgeous (if sinful) takeaway, then finally made my way over to my friends' house for Eurovision fun!! We really got into the spirit of things with our scorecards and sweepstake (I picked Moldova and got nowhere!!) and had a great laugh at some of the ridiculous entries!! The only downside was the fact that the UK came last...AGAIN :-( I've got to admit that our song wasn't great, but there were far worse songs in the competition. Darn political voting!!
• Trying to find as many distractions as possible so I could avoid doing job applications on Sunday...I know they need to be done, but I just wasn't in the mood at all!! And spending the evening watching SATC2 with one of my closest girl friends...I'm not going to give anything away just in case there are those of you who still haven't seen it, but suffice it to say I much preferred the first one. If you have seen it, what did you think??
• Making up for my laziness on Sunday by spending a good few hours on a job application on Monday, and then meeting up with friends for a chat, a drink and a curry for tea :-)
• Going on another Primark shopping spree yesterday...pictures to follow shortly!!

And now we're up to today...and nothing much has happened really!! I've been struggling with a headache for much of it and time's just seemed to fly by without me not doing very much!! Fingers crossed that the rest of the week will go by a little more slowly...I've got so much still to do!! Hope you're all having a good week whatever you're up to, and till next time...

PS: I've been thinking of doing some baking posts, but I don't know if you guys would be interested in them. I don't want to be a copycat or unoriginal and I know there are loads of baking blogs out there but as I'm baking on a more regular basis it seems weird not to be posting about it! Let me know what you think!!

Highs and Lows

I've been meaning to post this all day but, despite not working today, have only just got round to it now! So very quickly, as I'm wanting to go to bed shortly, here are my "Highs" and "Lows" of last week:

Highs

• Fantastic weather: The UK got its first taste of summer last week, with glorious sunshine and temperatures in the mid to high 20s (Celsius obviously!!) and it was heavenly!! If only we could have that for 3 months every summer, it would be perfect!!
• Summer clothes: The gorgeous weather meant that I was also able to break out my summer clothing for the first time since last year...summer skirts, brightly coloured dresses, denim shorts and sandals, I didn't realise how much I'd missed you!!
• Free shopping: As you'll probably all know, I love shopping, and I love it even more when my purchases don't actually cost me anything!! A couple of months ago, I got a new mobile phone, and as a free gift I received some HMV vouchers, which I finally spent last week. I bought 4 DVDs, and they didn't cost me a penny! Then, on the same shopping trip, I decided to treat myself to an iced coffee from Starbucks which, you guessed it, was also free courtesy of some coupons they'd sent me earlier in the week! I still have a couple of their vouchers left over, so am hoping to be getting some more free coffee sometime soon!
• Another interview (and some useful feedback): I know I've already blogged about part of this point, but last week I received a letter inviting me to a job interview in a couple of weeks. Yay!! I also had an interview itself last week, and whilst I didn't get the job (boo!!), I did receive some genuinely useful feedback and advice from the school's headteacher, which I can hopefully put to good use next time around!
• Good news from the dentist: I had my first dentist's appointment in over a year last Friday, and was a bit worried about the state of my gums, as on my last visit there had been some concern that I was showing the early signs of gum disease, and I'd hardly been diligent in following the treatment programme my dentist had recommended. Luckily, this time around my gums were fine, even if another problem was discovered (more about that later!)

Lows

• An annoying sore throat: It first reared its ugly head last Wednesday, and then stuck around for Thursday too. It seemed to have disappeared by Friday, but made its presence felt again as soon as I started to sing at rehearsal on Friday night :-( Then the weekend passed with no incident, but guess what happened at Monday's rehearsal...?! Just go away and stay away please!
• The downsides of the heat: Namely, stubbing and cutting my little toe whilst wearing my gladiator sandals on Saturday, having to shave my legs practically every day to get away with the bare legged look and getting an annoying bite/heat lump on my right ankle!
• Not getting the job: It sucked. I had a mini 5 minute meltdown. Nothing else to say about that one really.
• Bad news from the dentist: I need a filling. And my teeth cleaning professionally. And neither of those things come cheap (in my opinion, anyway!)

And that's about all of them! I suppose I could have added in the "low" of someone wearing the same dress as me when I was out on Saturday, but I suppose it was qute funny looking back, and my friends all told me I looked better than she did anyway :-) Thanks guys!!

Till next time...

Well, hello again...

it looks like I'm back!! :-) I'm no longer drowning under endless application forms and personal statements (although I don't know how long this state of affairs will last!) and with just over a week to go until I break up for the school holidays, I can (almost) safely say (because you can never be 100% sure!) that you'll be hearing a lot more from me from here on out!

As it's been quite a while since I last posted, I thought the best way of getting back up to speed was to post a quick list of things that have happened to me since I've been off the radar. So here goes nothing!!

Since I last posted I...

• have got 2 more job interviews!! After having a few interviews over the winter, I hadn't had any since February, so was very excited to get an interview letter last Wednesday. I had my lesson observation on Tuesday, which seemed to go ok and then I've got my interview tomorrow! Eeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkk! Then, yesterday, I received a letter from another school inviting me to an interview in June. Fingers crossed I'll get the job I'm interviewing for tomorrow, but if not, at least I've got the other interview to fall back on :-)
• celebrated my mum's birthday. Happy (belated) Birthday Mum!! Love you lots!! :-)
• discovered that our new kitten Lucy is actually a boy! So it was goodbye Lucy and hello Luca lol!
• have learned never to listen to my friend Sean ever again. We're both members of the same drama group, which is renowned (well, amongst its members anyway!) for its ridiculously literal and cheesy choreography!! So last week, when the director was trying to choreograph a routine, Sean was coming up with some particularly cheesy moves and getting me to join in! Unfortunately, we were right at the front, so the director saw us and thought that we knew what the routine was!! So that meant we were sent off stage to "teach" everyone else! We couldn't get it through to the director that we were only taking the piss, so there we were at the front, jigging around like idiots!! Completely mortifying!!
• watched Iron Man 2 (for the second time!), which has left me ever-so-slightly in love with Tony Stark and wishing I was Pepper Potts...
• added to my baking repertoire by experimenting with Rocky Road...it was pretty divine, even if I do say so myself, and I'm thinking I'll definitely be making it again in the future!!
• have been lusting over these shoes (except the ones I wanted were in a different colourway...cream with red polka dots and bow), but at the same time have also resigned myself to the fact that I'll probably never possess them, as they're limited edition and seem to have completely sold out in my size :-( And what makes this tale of woe even worse is that I had tried a pair on when they very first came out, but decided that they were too frivolous and that they wouldn't go with much in my wardrobe (idiot girl!!) Oh, how I'm kicking myself now!!
• been alternately annoyed by and adoring the British weather: this time last week temperatures were below the average for the time of year, today it got up to a maximum of about 22/23oC with a predicted maximum of 26oC (78oF) for tomorrow...that's 10 degrees above the average for May! Crazy, I tell ya!! Not that I'm complaining about the heat lol :-)

And I think that's about it!! I'm looking forward to a relaxingish weekend after a busy day tomorrow (dentist, job interview, driving lesson, drama) and am hoping to take advantage of the warm weather that's been forecast. Till next time...

Just dropping by...

to let everyone know that I am still actually here, even if I have been absent from the blogging world for the last week and a half! I was truly intending to post on a more regular basis, but my life seems to have turned into an endless cycle of work and job applications over the past couple of weeks, and although I have had some downtime, I've always seemed to spend it doing something else. Bad blogger!! Unfortunately, I don't think there's going to be any let up in the work (at school or home) just yet, which is a pity because there's so much I want to blog about, I almost don't know where to begin...what I've been up to, our new(ish) kitten, lots more "Wardrobe Wednesdays", the "Highs" and "Lows" of the past couple of weeks; the list could go on and on!! And there's so many blogs I want to catch up on...I've missed you guys SO much!!

But it seems I'm just going to have to wait a little longer. I will try very hard to blog again soon, but I know better than to make any rash promises ;-)!! 'Til the next time (which I hope won't be as long!!)...

To teach or not to teach...

that is the question! And one that I don't really have the answer to at the minute. All the way through college and university, teaching was the only career I ever had in mind. I did work experience in schools and loved it and I couldn't wait to be qualified and have a class of my own. Although I had some tough days once I started my postgrad course, I was still committed to a career in teaching and couldn't wait to make my dreams a reality once I graduated. And then things started to change...

I couldn't find a job. So I started supply work...there were some good days, but it wasn't really what I wanted to be doing and I was over the moon when I got a long term job after doing supply for nearly a year! Surely this was my moment, I'd have a class of my own and experience all that I'd gone into teaching for. But sadly, it didn't happen quite like that. I'm not sure why...I know that I struggled with behaviour management, I often found it hard to be positive and there were times when I felt that this was SO not for me. But on good days, it was the best job in the world...I came away feeling positive, uplifted and overawed by the children. Although it has to be said that those days weren't the most common occurrence! Then my contract ended and it was back on supply.

At first I didn't mind, I was grateful for the early finishes, the prospect of random days off and the fact that I could walk away from a horrendous class knowing that I'd never have to go back there again. But now, 4 terms down the line, I'm tired. Tired of doing supply knowing that the majority of classes will try it on to some extent. Tired of making the same mistakes over and over again...I actually feel that I'm becoming deskilled and that I'm less capable now than I was when I graduated nearly 3 years ago. Tired of getting up to wait for a morning call that might not come (and that I don't really want!). Tired of not enjoying my job most of the time. Tired of not getting that elusive long term teaching post, even if I'm not entirely sure that's what I want!

So now I've reached crisis point. Due to the stupid law in the UK, which I blogged about back in September last year, I have until the start of the new school year to get a job where I can finish my NQT induction; for me that will be a job that lasts for at least 2 terms. If I can't get that job by September, I can't do any more supply teaching. And I have absolutely no idea what I'd do then. Get a permanent teaching assistant's post? Do supply TA work? Get a job in a completely different sector? I haven't got a clue! Because despite all my indecision about teaching at the minute, it's the only thing I ever wanted to do. If I didn't teach, I don't know what I'd do. And if I get one of the long term posts I'm applying for? Well, the indecision would still be there. My dream scenario would be that I'd love my job and I'd be filled with renewed enthusiasm for teaching, but I'm not sure how realistic that is. I can't decide if I dislike my job because I feel terrible at it at the moment or because it's just not for me. If it's the former, then hopefully I'd develop my skills whilst working, and so feel better about both my ability to teach and the job itself. If it's the latter, then to put it bluntly, I'm screwed! But at least then I'd know, I suppose, and I'd be able to get a new job/retrain whilst I was still relatively young.

I just need a sign from somewhere! I was looking at my postgrad observation reports last night and they were good...they must prove I can teach, mustn't they? So why do I feel so useless now? Surely nearly 3 years experience should make me a better teacher! But anyway... I'm going to stop typing now before I feel any worse. Tomorrow's a new day (and I'm teaching) so I suppose now's the time to breathe, regroup and get into an upbeat frame of mind for a busy day in the classroom! Positive and in-control vibes (as I'm aiming to be firmer than firm from now on!) would be most appreciated!!

Highs and Lows of Last Week

So it's that time of the week again...you know, the one where I share the highs and lows of the past 7 days. It seems that this is pretty much all I've been doing lately...hope you're not getting too bored!! I'm hoping to inject a bit more variety into my posts over the next few days, but for now, you're just going to have to be content with this! ;-) :

Highs

• Another week off: Last week was the second week of my Easter holidays, and it was great to be able to get up late and wear what I wanted for the second week in a row, even if I didn't do anything very exciting with my time (find out what I was spending the majority of my time doing in my Lows!)
• Spending time with one of my favourite guys: Now, that doesn't mean any exciting dating/relationship news...I'm talking about H, my friends' 15 month old son!! Basically, H's mum and dad (my friends Nix and M) were meant to be watching another of our friends in a play on Friday night and H's nana (Nix's mum) was meant to be babysitting. But due to the volcanic eruption in Iceland, she, along with Nix's stepdad, brothers and sisters,was stuck in the Canary Islands!! So Nix sent out a distress call...and along came Auntie Julie to the rescue! I was feeling very apprehensive at first, as I'd never spent any time alone with H before, and this wasn't helped by the fact that he started crying when he saw his mum and dad driving away! But I needn't have worried, as he soon settled down and was an absolute gem for the rest of the evening. He smiled, chattered away, shared lots of his toys and drank an 8oz bottle without any fuss!! I just hope I'm as lucky when it comes to my future children!!
• An evening at the theatre:...especially when the play I'm watching features one of my friends! On Saturday night it was my turn to go and see the play that I mentioned in my previous paragraph...and it was amazing!! Gripping, emotional, darkly funny, with more than one twist thrown in for good measure...if ever "Knife Edge" appears in a theatre near you, my advice would definitely be to check it out, even if your production doesn't have my wonderful actor of a friend Nick in it!
• Kick Ass (The film and the shot)..."There's a Kick Ass shot?", I hear you ask... Well yes there is, but more about that later!! First of all, I'll talk about the film. I heard great things about it, and when Amy and I saw it on Thursday, neither of us were disappointed! I loved the humour, the music, pretty much everything about it to be honest...even if lots of the content was pretty disturbing if you stopped to think about it for too long! And I've got a new heroine in Hit Girl...oh, to have even half the attitude that she does!! ;-) And now onto the shot...after the play on Saturday, Nick, I, and a couple of other friends headed into town and our first stop was Baa Bar. As it's famous for its shots it would have been rude not to have any (!), so as soon as we arrived we headed straight to the bar and consulted the menu. And that's when I saw it...there was a Kick Ass shot (which consisted of tequila, blue curacao and something red...I think it was strawberry?!) and like the film, it was pretty damn good! My only complaint is that it wasn't the proper Kick Ass colours (green and yellow lol!) but a girl can't have everything I suppose!!

Lows

• Job applications...After last week, I'm sick of the sight of them! As I had a lot that needed to be submitted by either this Friday (23rd) or next Monday (26th), I decided that I'd try and plough through as many as possible so that I didn't have too much to do once I got back to work. And whilst I'm relieved that I managed to complete 4 of them, I can't say that it was an enjoyable task! Gone are the days where applying for a job just meant filling in an application form that took up a couple of sides of A4. Now my forms can be anywhere between 5 and 15(!) pages, and that's before I even have to contend with the personal statement! 2-3 sides of A4 where I explain what a fabulous teacher I am, and why the school should be rushing to snap me up! And even though it might save me time in the short term, I've discovered to my peril that there's no point just writing a generic statement and using it for every school...it doesn't get you anywhere!! :-( So I'm writing pretty much a new statement for every job, and hating most of it...although I must admit there's a delicious irony in saying how enthusiastic and motivated you are, when in reality you can't think of anything worse than writing yet another new statement!! Although the tedium is all worth it when I finally finish...or when I get that elusive interview :-) Fingers crossed for more coming my way soon!!
• A terrible driving lesson...Now when your driving instructor gets a new car, you might expect your first lesson in it to be a little less than perfect, right? Wrong...mine was absolutely fine. So, when it came to my second, I wasn't unduly bothered, so (according to Sod's Law) it makes perfect sense for it to have been truly awful!! I stalled so many times I lost count...including once on a roundabout, and several times when I hadn't even realised I'd stalled at all...until I came to move, that was!! I had terrible difficulty finding the gears, and kept putting the car into the wrong one, resulting in a horrible burning smell coming from the clutch!! I forgot when my handbrake was on and when it was off...need I continue?! According to my instructor, everybody has those days every once in a while, but it still didn't do much for my confidence, especially as I'm meant to be booking my practical test very soon (eeeeek!)

And there's another edition of my highs and lows. Stay tuned for a new "What's in my Wardrobe Wednesday" post tomorrow...I've got lots of ideas, so expect it to become a regular feature once again!!

Well hello!!

Long time no speak!! I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since I've last blogged...I don't know where the time's gone, all I do know is that I've been majorly busy!

So very briefly, here's what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks:

• Working...I've been working in the same school for the last 2 weeks, covering a teacher's paternity leave. They're not the easiest class to deal with, and there have been some moments where I've felt completely overwhelmed, but they've been coupled with some students who are a delight to teach, and times where I'm so proud of what they've achieved.

• Spending weekends with friends...the last two weekends have been time for fun with friends. The last weekend in January was spent relaxing at the pub and seeing Sherlock Holmes (again!) with my sister Amy on the Sunday and last weekend I went to a drama group party and out to a cocktail and karaoke bar for my friend's 23rd. Good times!

• Acting: Between January 27th and January 30th, I spent every evening dressed as a villager for my drama group's production of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs". It was really tiring, especially when coupled with 6:30 am get ups for work, but really fun at the same time! I can't wait for our next show. We're doing a musical revue which premieres in July...rehearsals begin in March!

• Driving: I've been keeping up with my driving lessons and the feedback off my instructor has been really positive...apparently it won't be too long before I can be entered for my test! Woo hoo! :-)

• Baking: I've started to develop a bit of a reputation for my gingerbread and I've baked two batches over the last two weeks...neither of them for my family, much to their disappointment! I'm starting to really love baking and am finding it much more relaxing now I know what I'm doing, but I think I should maybe expand my repertoire a little bit so am on the lookout for new recipes. Anyone got any suggestions??

• Preparing for job interviews: I had another job interview yesterday and spent some of the weekend preparing for it and planning a mini lesson for my classroom observation. Unfortunately, I didn't get the job but the feedback I received was very positive...the headteacher even said he wished he could have given me the job, but unfortunately I'd come up against a slightly stronger candidate. I'm not too downhearted, especially because I received a call yesterday from another school saying I'd been shortlisted for a job vacancy there too...my interview and lesson observation are in a couple of weeks!

And finally...

• Realising that my friends were right all along and that Robert Downey Jr is pretty damn fine...This one is pretty much self explanatory, but I'm going to explain myself anyway! I has been a long held belief amongst many of my friends that RDJ is hot, but I stubbornly disagreed. Yeah, he was ok, I thought, but nothing special. Even when I heard about Sherlock Holmes coming out, I was more excited about watching Jude Law for 2 hours than anything else. Then I saw it and it was like seeing him for the first time. It was quite literally a thunderbolt moment, and I was like "So that's what they see in you!". And now I'm hooked...I can't get enough! And if you're reading this and you still don't get it, here's a little something that might just change your mind: